The Delights of Wisdom Pertaining to Conjugial Love · Chapter 21Preliminary Relations Respecting the Joys of Heaven and Nuptials There. (20)
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After seeing these things, I was desirous to visit the two other assemblies, one of which consisted of mere reasoners, and the other of mere confirmators; and it was said to me, "Stop awhile, and you shall have attendant angels from the society next above them; by these you will receive light from the Lord and will see what will surprise you."
232. THE SECOND MEMORABLE RELATION. After some time I heard again from the lower earth voices exclaiming as before, "O HOW LEARNED! O HOW WISE!" I looked round to see what angels were present; and lo! they were from the heaven immediately above those who cried out, "O HOW LEARNED!" and I conversed with them respecting the cry, and they said, "Those learned ones are such as only reason whether a thing be so or not, and seldom think that it is so; therefore, they are like winds which blow and pass away, like the bark about trees which are without sap, or like shells about almonds without a kernel, or like the outward rind about fruit without pulp; for their minds are void of interior judgement, and are united only with the bodily senses; therefore unless the senses themselves decide, they can conclude nothing; in a word, they are merely sensual, and we call them REASONERS. We give them this name, because they never conclude anything, and make whatever they hear a matter of argument, and dispute whether it be so, with perpetual contradiction. They love nothing better than to attack essential truths, and so to pull them in pieces as to make them a subject of dispute. These are those who believe themselves learned above the rest of the world." On hearing this account, I entreated the angels to conduct me to them: so they led me to a cave, from which there was a flight of steps leading to the earth below. We descended and followed the shout, "O HOW LEARNED!" and lo! there were some hundreds standing in one place, beating the ground with their feet. Being at first surprised at this sight, I inquired the reason of their standing in that manner and beating the ground with the soles of their feet, and said, "They may thus by their feet make holes in the floor." At this the angel smiled and said, "They appear to stand in this manner, because they never think on any subject that it is so, but only whether it is so, and dispute about it; and when the thinking principle proceeds no further than this, they appear only to tread and trample on a single clod, and not to advance." Upon this I approached the assembly, and lo! they appeared to me to be good-looking men and well dressed; but the angels said, "This is their appearance when viewed in their own light; but if light from heaven flows in, their faces are changed, and so is their dress;" and so it came to pass: they then appeared with dark faces, and dressed in black sackcloth; but when this light was withdrawn, they appeared as before. I presently entered into conversation with some of them, and said, "I heard the shout of a crowd about you, 'O how learned!' may I be allowed therefore to have a little conversation with you on subjects of the highest learning?" they replied, "Mention any subject, and we will give you satisfaction." I then asked, "What must be the nature of that religion by which a man is saved?" They said, "We will divide this subject into several parts; and we cannot answer it until we have concluded on its subdivisions. The first inquiry shall be, Whether religion be anything? the second, Whether there be such a thing as salvation or not? the third, Whether one religion be more efficacious than another? the fourth, Whether there be a heaven and a hell? the fifth, Whether there be eternal life after death?" besides many more inquiries. Then I desired to know their opinion concerning the first article of inquiry, Whether religion be anything? They began to discuss the subject with abundance of arguments, whether there be any such thing as religion, and whether what is called religion be anything? I requested them to refer it to the assembly, and they did so; and the general answer was, that the proposition required so much investigation that it could not be finished within the evening. I then asked. "Can you finish it within the year?" and one of them said, "Not within a hundred years:" so I observed, "In the mean while you are without religion;" and he replied, "Shall it not be first demonstrated whether there be such a thing as religion, and whether what is called religion be anything? if there be such a thing, it must be also for the wise; if there be no such thing, it must he only for the vulgar. It is well known that religion is called a bond; but it is asked, for whom? if it be only for the vulgar, it is not anything in itself; if it be likewise for the wise, it is something." On hearing these arguments, I said to them, "There is no character you deserve less than that of being learned; because all your thoughts are confined to the single inquiry, whether a thing be, and to canvass each side of the question. Who can become learned, unless he know something for certain, and progressively advance into it, as a man in walking progressively advances from step to step, and thereby successively arrives at wisdom! If you follow any other rule, you make no approach to truths, but remove them more and more out of sight. To reason only whether a thing be, is it not like reasoning about a cap or a shoe, whether they fit or not, before they are put on? and what must be the consequence of such reasoning, but that you will not know whether anything exist, yea, whether there be any such thing as salvation, or eternal life after death; whether one religion be more efficacious than another, and whether there be a heaven and a hell? On these subjects you cannot possibly think at all, so long as you halt at the first step, and beat the sand at setting out, instead of setting one foot before another and going forward. Take heed to yourselves, lest your minds, standing thus without in a state of indetermination, should inwardly harden and become statues of salt, and yourselves friends of Lot's wife." With these words I took my leave, and they being indignant threw stones after me; and then they appeared to me like graven images of stone, without any human reason in them. On my asking the angels concerning their lot, they said, "Their lot is, that they are cast down into the deep, into a wilderness, where they are forced to carry burdens; and in this case, as they are no longer capable of rational conversation, they give themselves up to idle prattle and talk, and appear at a distance like asses that are heavily laden."
233. THE THIRD MEMORABLE RELATION. After this one of the angels said, "Follow me to the place where they exclaim, 'O HOW WISE!' and you shall see prodigies of men; you shall see faces and bodies, which are the faces and bodies of a man, and yet they are not men." I said, "Are they beasts then?" he replied, "They are not beasts, but beast-men; for they are such as cannot at all see whether truth be truth or not, and yet they can make whatever they will to be truth. Such persons with us are called CONFIRMATORS." We followed the vociferation, and came to the place; and lo! there was a company of men, and around them a crowd, and in the crowd some of noble blood, who, on hearing that they confirmed whatever they said, and favored themselves with such manifest consent, turned, and said, "O HOW WISE!" But the angel said to me, "Let us not go to them, but call one out of the company." We called him and went aside with him, and conversed on various subjects; and he confirmed every one of them, so that they appeared altogether as true; and we asked him, whether he could also confirm the contrary? he said, "As well as the former." Then he spoke openly and from the heart, and said, "What is truth? Is there anything true in the nature of things, but what a man makes true? Advance any proposition you please, and I will make it to be true." Hereupon I said, "Make this true; That faith is the all of the church." This he did so dexterously and cunningly, that the learned who were standing by admired and applauded him. I afterwards requested him to make it true, That charity is the all of the church; and he did so: and afterwards, That charity is nothing of the church: and he dressed up each side of the question, and adorned it so with appearances, that the bystanders looked at each other, and said, "Is not this a wise man?" But I said, "Do not you know that to live well is charity, and that to believe well is faith? does not he that lives well also believe well? and consequently, is not faith of charity, and charity of faith? do you not see that this is true?" He replied, "I will make it true, and will then see." He did so, and said, "Now I see it;" but presently he made the contrary to be true, and then said, "I also see that this is true." At this we smiled and said, "Are they not contraries? how can two contraries appear true?" To this he replied with indignation, "You are mistaken; each is true; since truth is nothing but what a man makes true." There was a certain person standing near, who in the world had been a legate of the first rank. He was surprised at this assertion, and said, "I acknowledge that in the world something like this method of reasoning prevails; but still you are out of your senses. Try if you can make it to be true, that light is darkness, and darkness light." He replied, "I will easily do this. What are light and darkness but a state of the eye? Is not light changed into shade when the eye comes out of sunshine, and also when it is kept intensely fixed on the sun? Who does not know, that the state of the eye in such a case is changed, and that in consequence light appears as shade; and on the other hand, when the state of the eye is restored, that shade appears as light? Does not an owl see the darkness of night as the light of day, and the light of day as the darkness of night, and also the sun itself as an opaque and dusky globe? If any man had the eyes of an owl, which would he call light and which darkness? What then is light but the state of the eye? and if it be a state of the eye, is not light darkness, and darkness light? therefore each of the propositions is true." Afterwards the legate asked him to make this true, That a raven is white and not black; and he replied, "I will do this also with ease;" and he said, "Take a needle or razor, and lay open the feathers or quills of a raven; are they not white within? Also remove the feathers and quills, and look at its skin; is it not white? What is the blackness then which envelops it but a shade, which ought not to determine the raven's color? That blackness is merely a shade. I appeal to the skilful in the science of optics, who will tell you, that if you pound a black stone or glass into fine powder, you will see that the powder is white." But the legate replied, "Does not the raven appear black to the sight?" The confirmator answered, "Will you, who are a man, think in any case from appearance? you may indeed say from appearance, that a crow is black, but you cannot think so; as for example, you may speak from the appearance and say that the sun rises, advances to its meridian altitude, and sets; but, as you are a man, you cannot think so; because the sun stands unmoved and the earth only changes its position. The case is the same with the raven; appearance is appearance; and say what you will, a raven is altogether and entirely white; it grows white also as it grows old; and this I have seen." We next requested him to tell us from his heart, whether he was in joke, or whether he really believed that nothing is true but what a man makes true? and he replied, "I swear that I believe it." Afterwards the legate asked him, whether he could make it true that he was out of his senses; and he said, "I can; but I do not choose: who is not out of his senses?" When the conversation was thus ended, this universal confirmator was sent to the angels, to be examined as to his true quality; and the report they afterwards made was, that he did not possess even a single grain of understanding; because all that is above the rational principle was closed in him, and that alone which is below was open. Above the rational principle is heavenly light, and below it is natural light; and this light is such that it can confirm whatever it pleases; but if heavenly light does not flow into natural light, a man does not see whether any thing true is true, and consequently neither does he see that any thing false is false. To see in either case is by virtue of heavenly light in natural light; and heavenly light is from the God of heaven, who is the Lord; therefore this universal confirmator is not a man or a beast, but a beast-man. I questioned the angel concerning the lot of such persons, and whether they can be together with those who are alive, since every one has life from heavenly light, and from this light has understanding. He said, that such persons when they are alone, can neither think nor express their thoughts, but stand mute like machines, and as in a deep sleep; but that they awake as soon as any sound strikes their ears: and he added, that those become such, who are inmostly wicked; into these no heavenly light can flow from above, but only somewhat spiritual through the world, whence they derive the faculty of confirming. As he said this, I heard a voice from the angels who had examined the confirmation, saying to me, "From what you have now heard form a general conclusion." I accordingly formed the following: "That intelligence does not consist in being able to confirm whatever a man pleases, but in being able to see that what is true is true, and what is false is false." After this I looked towards the company where the confirmators stood, and where the crowd about them shouted, "O how wise!" and lo! a dusky cloud covered them, and in the cloud were owls and bats on the wing; and it was said to me, "The owls and bats flying in the dusky cloud, are correspondences and consequent appearances of their thoughts; because confirmations of falsities so as to make them appear like truths, are represented in this world under the forms of birds of night, whose eyes are inwardly illuminated by a false light, from which they see objects in the dark as if in the light. By such a false spiritual light are those influenced who confirm falses until they seem as truths, and afterwards are said and believed to be truths: all such see backwards, and not forwards."
ON THE CAUSES OF COLDNESS, SEPARATION, AND DIVORCE IN MARRIAGES.
234. In treating here on the causes of coldness in marriages, we shall treat also at the same time on the causes of separation, and likewise of divorce, because they are connected; for separations come from no other source than from coldnesses, which are successively inborn after marriage, or from causes discovered after marriage, from which also coldness springs; but divorces come from adulteries; for these are altogether opposite to marriages; and opposites induce coldness, if not in both parties, at least in one. This is the reason why the causes of coldness, separations, and divorces, are brought together into one chapter. But the coherence of the causes will be more clearly discerned from viewing them in the following series:—I. There are spiritual heat and spiritual cold; and spiritual heat is love, and spiritual cold the privation thereof. II. Spiritual cold in marriages is a disunion of souls and a disjunction of minds, whence come indifference, discord, contempt, disdain, and aversion; from which, in several cases, at length comes separation as to bed, chamber, and house. III. There are several successive causes of cold, some internal, some external, and some accidental. IV. Internal causes of cold are from religion. V. The first of these causes is the rejection of religion by each of the parties. VI. The second is, that one has religion and not the other. VII. The third is, that one is of one religion and the other of another. VIII. The fourth is the falsity of the religion imbibed. IX. With many, these are causes of internal cold, but not at the same time of external. X. There are also several external causes of cold; the first of which is dissimilitude of minds and manners. XI. The second is, that conjugial love is believed to be the same as adulterous love, only that the latter is not allowed by law, but the former is. XII. The third is, a striving for pre-eminence between married partners. XIII. The fourth is, a want of determination to any employment or business, whence comes wandering passion. XIV. The fifth is, inequality of external rank and condition. XV. There are also causes of separation. XVI. The first of them is a vitiated state of mind. XVII. The second is a vitiated state of body. XVIII. The third is impotence before marriage. XIX. Adultery is the cause of divorce. XX. There are also several accidental causes of cold; the first of which is, that enjoyment is common (or cheap), because continually allowed. XXI. The second is that living with a married partner, from a covenant and compact, seems to be forced and not free. XXII. The third is, affirmation on the part of the wife, and her talking incessantly about love. XXIII. The fourth is, the man's continually thinking that his wife is willing; and on the other hand, the wife's thinking that the man is not willing. XXIV. As cold is in the mind it is also in the body; and according to the increase of that cold, the externals also of the body are closed. We proceed to an explanation of each article.
235. I. THERE ARE SPIRITUAL HEAT AND SPIRITUAL COLD; AND SPIRITUAL HEAT IS LOVE, AND SPIRITUAL COLD IS THE PRIVATION THEREOF. Spiritual heat is from no other source than the sun of the spiritual world; for there is in that world a sun proceeding from the Lord, who is in the midst of it; and as it is from the Lord, it is in its essence pure love. This sun appears fiery before the angels, just as the sun of our world appears before men. The reason of its appearing fiery is, because love is spiritual fire. From that sun proceed both heat and light; but as that sun is pure love, the heat thence derived in its essence is love, and the light thence derived in its essence is wisdom; hence it is manifest what is the source of spiritual heat, and that spiritual heat is love. But we will also briefly explain the source of spiritual cold. It is from the sun of the natural world, and its heat and light. The sun of the natural world was created that its heat and light might receive in them spiritual heat and light, and by means of the atmospheres might convey spiritual heat and light even to ultimates in the earth, in order to produce effects of ends, which are of the Lord in his sun, and also to clothe spiritual principles with suitable garments, that is, with materials, to operate ultimate ends in nature. These effects are produced when spiritual heat is joined to natural heat; but the contrary comes to pass when natural heat is separated from spiritual heat, as is the case with those who love natural things, and reject spiritual: with such, spiritual heat becomes cold. The reason why these two loves, which from creation are in agreement, become thus opposite, is, because in such case the dominant heat becomes the servant, and vice versa; and to prevent this effect, spiritual heat, which from its lineage is lord, then recedes; and in those subjects, spiritual heat grows cold, because it becomes opposite. From these considerations it is manifest that spiritual cold is the privation of spiritual heat. In what is here said, by heat is meant love; because that heat living in subjects is felt as love. I have heard in the spiritual world, that spirits merely natural grow intensely cold while they apply themselves to the side of some angel who is in a state of love; and that the case is similar in regard to the infernal spirits, while heat flows into them out of heaven; and that nevertheless among themselves, when the heat of heaven is removed from them, they are inflamed with great heat.
236. II. Spiritual cold in marriages is a disunion of souls and a disjunction of minds, whence come indifference, discord, contempt, disdain, and aversion; from which, in several cases, at length comes separation as to bed, chamber, and house. That these effects take place with married partners, while their primitive love is on the decline, and becomes cold, is too well known to need any comment. The reason is, because conjugial cold above all others resides in human minds; for the essential conjugial principle is inscribed on the soul, to the end that a soul may be propagated from a soul, and the soul of the father into the offspring. Hence it is that this cold originates there, and successively goes downward into the principles thence derived, and infects them; and thus changes the joys and delights of the primitive love into what is sad and undelightful.
237. III. THERE ARE SEVERAL SUCCESSIVE CAUSES OF COLD, SOME INTERNAL, SOME EXTERNAL, AND SOME ACCIDENTAL. That there are several causes of cold in marriages, is known in the world; also that they arise from many external causes; but it is not known that the origins of the causes lie concealed in the inmost principles, and that from these they descend into the principles thence derived, until they appear in externals; in order therefore that it may be known that external causes are not causes in themselves, but derived from causes in themselves, which, as was said, are in inmost principles, we will first distribute the causes generally into internal and external, and afterwards will particularly examine them.
238. IV. INTERNAL CAUSES OF COLD ARE FROM RELIGION. That the very origin of conjugial love resides in the inmost principles of man, that is, in his soul, is demonstrable to every one from the following considerations alone; that the soul of the offspring is from the father, which is known from the similitude of inclinations and affections, and also from the general character of the countenance derived from the father and remaining with very remote posterity; also from the propagative faculty implanted in souls from creation; and moreover by what is analogous thereto in the subjects of the vegetable kingdom, in that there lies hid in the inmost principles of germination the propagation of the seed itself, and thence of the whole, whether it be a tree, a shrub, or a plant. This propagative or plastic force in seeds in the latter kingdom, and in souls in the other, is from no other source than the conjugial sphere, which is that of good and truth, and which perpetually emanates and flows in from the Lord the Creator and Supporter of the universe; concerning which sphere, see above, n. 222-225; and from the endeavour of those two principles, good and truth, therein, to unite into a one. This conjugial endeavour remains implanted in souls, and conjugial love exists by derivation from it as its origin. That this same marriage, from which the above universal sphere is derived, constitutes the church with man, has been abundantly shewn above in the chapter ON THE MARRIAGE OF GOOD AND TRUTH, and frequently elsewhere. Hence there is all the evidence of rational demonstration, that the origin of the church and of conjugial love are in one place of abode, and in a continual embrace; but on this subject see further particulars above, n. 130, where it was proved, that conjugial love is according to the state of the church with man; thus that it is grounded in religion, because religion constitutes this state. Man also was created with a capacity of becoming more and more interior, and thereby of being introduced or elevated nearer and nearer to that marriage, and thus into love truly conjugial, and this even so far as to perceive a state of its blessedness. That religion is the only means of introduction and elevation, appears clearly from what was said above, namely, that the origin of the church and of conjugial love are in the same place of abode, and in mutual embrace there, and that hence they must needs be conjoined.
239. From what has been said above it follows, that where there is no religion, there is no conjugial love; and that where there is no conjugial love, there is cold. That conjugial cold is the privation of that love, maybe seen above, n. 235; consequently that conjugial cold is also a privation of a state of the church, or of religion. Sufficient evidence of the truth of this may be deduced from the general ignorance that now prevails concerning love truly conjugial. In these times, who knows, and who is willing to acknowledge, and who will not be surprised to hear, that the origin of conjugial love is deduced hence? But the only cause and source of this ignorance is, that, notwithstanding there is religion, still there are not the truths of religion; and what is religion without truths? That there is a want of the truths of religion, is fully shown in the APOCALYPSE REVEALED; see also the MEMORABLE RELATION, n. 566 of that work.
240. V. OF INTERNAL CAUSES OF COLD THE FIRST IS THE REJECTION OF RELIGION BY EACH OF THE PARTIES. Those who reject the holy things of the church from the face to the hinder part of the head, or from the breast to the back, have not any good love; if any proceeds apparently from the body, still there is not any in the spirit. With such persons goods place themselves on the outside of evils, and cover them, as raiment glittering with gold covers a putrid body. The evils which reside within, and are covered, are in general hatreds, and thence intestine combats against everything spiritual; for all things of the church which they reject, are in themselves spiritual; and as love truly conjugial is the fundamental love of all spiritual loves, as was shewn above, it is evident that interior hatred is contrary to it, and that the interior or real love with such is in favor or the opposite, which is the love of adultery; therefore such persons, more than others, will be disposed to ridicule this truth, that every one has conjugial love according to the state of the church; yea, they will possibly laugh at the very mention of love truly conjugial; but be it so; nevertheless they are to be pardoned, because it is as impossible for them to distinguish in thought between the marriage embrace and the adulterous, as it is for a camel to go through the eye of a needle. Such persons, as to conjugial love, are starved with cold more than others. If they keep to their married partners, it is only on account of some of the external causes mentioned above, n. 153, which withhold and bind them. Their interiors of the soul and thence of the mind are more and more closed, and in the body are stopped up; and in this case even the love of the sex is thought little of, or becomes insanely lascivious in the interiors of the body, and thence in the lowest principles of their thought. It is these who are meant in the MEMORABLE RELATION, n. 79, which they may read if they please.
241. VI. OF INTERNAL CAUSES OF COLD THE SECOND IS, THAT ONE OF THE PARTIES HAS RELIGION AND NOT THE OTHER. The reason of this is, because the souls must of course disagree; for the soul of one is open to the reception of conjugial love, while the soul of the other is closed to it. It is closed with the party that has not religion, and it is open with the one that has; hence such persons cannot live together harmoniously; and when once conjugial love is banished, there ensues cold; but this is with the party that has no religion. This cold cannot be dissipated except by the reception of a religion agreeing with that of the other party, if it be true; otherwise, with the party that has no religion, there ensues cold, which descends from the soul into the body, even to the cuticles; in consequence of which he can no longer look his married partner directly in the face, or accost her in a communion of respirations, or speak to her except in a subdued tone of voice, or touch her with the hand, and scarcely with the back; not to mention the insanities which, proceeding from that cold, make their way into the thoughts, which they do not make known; and this is the reason why such marriages dissolve of themselves. Moreover, it is well known, that an impious man thinks meanly of a married partner; and all who are without religion are impious.