The Delights of Wisdom Pertaining to Conjugial Love · Chapter 7Preliminary Relations Respecting the Joys of Heaven and Nuptials There. (6)
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51. VII. MARRIED PAIRS ENJOY SIMILAR COMMUNICATIONS WITH EACH OTHER AS IN THE WORLD, BUT MORE DELIGHTFUL AND BLESSED, YET WITHOUT PROLIFICATION; IN THE PLACE OF WHICH THEY EXPERIENCE SPIRITUAL PROLIFICATION, WHICH IS THAT OF LOVE AND WISDOM. The reason why married pairs enjoy similar communications as in the world, is, because after death a male is a male, and a female a female, and there is implanted in each at creation an inclination to conjunction; and this inclination with man is the inclination of his spirit and thence of his body; therefore after death, when a man becomes a spirit, the same mutual inclination remains, and this cannot exist without similar communications; for after death a man is a man as before; neither is there any thing wanting either in the male or in the female: as to form they are like themselves, and also as to affections and thoughts; and what must be the necessary consequence, but that they must enjoy like communications? And as conjugial love is chaste, pure, and holy, therefore their communications are ample and complete; but on this subject see what was said in the MEMORABLE RELATION, n. 44. The reason why such communications are more delightful and blessed than in the world, is, because conjugial love, as it is the love of the spirit, becomes interior and purer, and thereby more perceivable; and every delight increases according to perception, and to such a degree that its blessedness is discernible in its delight.
52. The reason why marriages in the heavens are without prolification, and that in place thereof there is experienced spiritual prolification, which is that of love and wisdom, is, because with the inhabitants of the spiritual world, the third principle—the natural, is wanting; and it is this which contains the spiritual principles; and these without that which contains them have no consistence, like the productions of the natural world: moreover spiritual principles, considered in themselves, have relation to love and wisdom; therefore love and wisdom are the births produced from marriages in the heavens. These are called births, because conjugial love perfects an angel, uniting him with his consort, in consequence whereof he becomes more and more a man (homo) for, as was said above, two married partners in heaven are not two but one angel; wherefore by conjugial unition they fill themselves with the human principle, which consists in desiring to grow wise, and in loving whatever relates to wisdom.
53. VIII. THIS IS THE CASE WITH THOSE WHO GO TO HEAVEN; BUT IT IS OTHERWISE WITH THOSE WHO GO TO HELL. That after death a suitable wife is given to a husband, and a suitable husband to a wife, and that they enjoy delightful and blessed communications, but without prolification, except of a spiritual kind, is to be understood of those who are received into heaven and become angels; because such are spiritual, and marriages in themselves are spiritual and thence holy: but with respect to those who go to hell, they are all natural; and marriages merely natural are not marriages, but conjunctions which originate in unchaste lust. The nature and quality of such conjunctions will be shewn in the following pages, when we come to treat of the chaste and the unchaste principles, and further when we come to treat of adulterous love.
54. To what has been above related concerning the state of married partners after death, it may be expedient to add the following circumstances. I. That all those married partners who are merely natural, are separated after death; because with them the love of marriage grows cold, and the love of adultery grows warm: nevertheless after separation, they sometimes associate as married partners with others; but after a short time they withdraw from each other: and this in many cases is done repeatedly; till at length the man is made over to some harlot, and the woman to some adulterer; which is effected in an infernal prison: concerning which prison, see the APOCALYPSE REVEALED, n. 153, § x., where promiscuous whoredom is forbidden each party under certain pains and penalties. II. Married partners, of whom one is spiritual and the other natural, are also separated after death; and to the spiritual is given a suitable married partner: whereas the natural one is sent to the resorts of the lascivious among his like. III. But those, who in the world have lived a single life, and have altogether alienated their minds from marriage, in case they be spiritual, remain single; but if natural, they become whoremongers. It is otherwise with those, who in their single state have desired marriage, and especially if they have solicited it without success; for such, if they are spiritual, blessed marriages are provided, but not until they come into heaven. IV. Those who in the world have been shut up in monasteries, both men and women, at the conclusion of the monastic life, which continues some time after death, are let loose and discharged, and enjoy the free indulgence of their desires, whether they are disposed to live in a married state or not: if they are disposed to live in a married state, this is granted them; but if otherwise, they are conveyed to those who live in celibacy on the side of heaven; such, however, as have indulged the fires of prohibited lust, are cast down. V. The reason why those who live in celibacy are on the side of heaven, is, because the sphere of perpetual celibacy infests the sphere of conjugial love, which is the very essential sphere of heaven; and the reason why the sphere of conjugial love is the very essential sphere of heaven, is, because it descends from the heavenly marriage of the Lord and the church.
55. To the above, I shall add two MEMORABLE RELATIONS: the FIRST is this. On a certain time I heard from heaven the sweetest melody, arising from a song that was sung by wives and virgins in heaven. The sweetness of their singing was like the affection of some kind of love flowing forth harmoniously. Heavenly songs are in reality sonorous affections, or affections expressed and modified by sounds; for as the thoughts are expressed by speech, so the affections are expressed by songs; and from the measure and flow of the modulation, the angels perceive the object of the affection. On this occasion there were many spirits about me; and some of them informed me that they heard this delightful melody, and that it was the melody of some lovely affection, the object of which they did not know: they therefore made various conjectures about it, but in vain. Some conjectured that the singing expressed the affection of a bridegroom and bride when they sign the marriage-articles; some that it expressed the affection of a bridegroom and a bride at the solemnizing of the nuptials; and some that it expressed the primitive love of a husband and a wife. But at that instant there appeared in the midst of them an angel from heaven, who said, that they were singing the chaste love of the sex. Hereupon some of the bystanders asked, "What is the chaste love of the sex?" And the angel answered, "It is the love which a man bears towards a beautiful and elegant virgin or wife, free from every lascivious idea, and the same love experienced by a virgin or a wife towards a man." As he said this, he disappeared. The singing continued; and as the bystanders then knew the subject of the affection which it expressed, they heard it very variously, every one according to the state of his love. Those who looked upon women chastely, heard it as a song of symphony and sweetness; those who looked upon them unchastely, heard it as a discordant and mournful song; and those who looked upon them disdainfully, heard it as a song that was harsh and grating. At that instant the place on which they stood was suddenly changed into a theatre, and a voice was heard, saying, "INVESTIGATE THIS LOVE:" and immediately spirits from various societies presented themselves, and in the midst of them some angels in white. The latter then said, "We in this spiritual world have inquired into every species of love, not only into the love which a man has for a man, and a woman for a woman; and into the reciprocal love of a husband and a wife; but also into the love which a man has for woman, and which a woman has for men; and we have been permitted to pass through societies and examine them, and we have never yet found the common love of the sex chaste, except with those who from true conjugial love are in continual potency, and these are in the highest heavens. We have also been permitted to perceive the influx of this love into the affections of our hearts, and have been made sensible that it surpasses in sweetness every other love, except the love of two conjugial partners whose hearts are as one: but we have besought you to investigate this love, because it is new and unknown to you; and since it is essential pleasantness, we in heaven call it heavenly sweetness." They then began the investigation; and those spoke first who were unable to think chastely of marriages. They said, "What man when he beholds a beautiful and lovely virgin or wife, can so correct or purify the ideas of his thought from concupiscence, as to love the beauty and yet have no inclination to taste it, if it be allowable? Who can convert concupiscence, which is innate in every man, into such chastity, thus into somewhat not itself, and yet love? Can the love of the sex, when it enters by the eyes into the thoughts, stop at the face of a woman? Does it not descend instantly into the breast, and beyond it? The angels talk idly in saying that this love is chaste, and yet is the sweetest of all loves, and that it can only exist with husbands who are in true conjugial love, and thence in an extreme degree of potency with their wives. Do such husbands possess any peculiar power more than other men, when they see a beautiful woman, of keeping the ideas of their thought in a state of elevation, and as it were of suspending them, so that they cannot descend and proceed to what constitutes that love?" The argument was next taken up by those who were in cold and in heat; in cold towards their wives, and in heat towards the sex; and they said, "What is the chaste love of the sex? Is it not a contradiction in terms to talk of such a love? If chastity be predicated of the love of the sex, is not this destroying the very thing of which it is predicated? How can the chaste love of the sex be the sweetest of all loves, when chastity deprives it of its sweetness? You all know where the sweetness of that love resides; when therefore the idea connected therewith is banished from the mind, where and whence is the sweetness?" At that instant certain spirits interrupted them, and said, "We have been in company with the most beautiful females and have had no lust; therefore we know what the chaste love of the sex is." But their companions, who were acquainted with their lasciviousness, replied, "You were at those times in a state of loathing towards the sex, arising from impotence; and this is not the chaste love of the sex, but the ultimate of unchaste love." On hearing what had been said, the angels were indignant and requested those who stood on the right, or to the south, to deliver their sentiments. They said, "There is a love of one man to another, and also of one woman to another; and there is a love of a man to a woman, and of a woman to a man; and these three pairs of loves totally differ from each other. The love of one man to another is as the love of understanding and understanding; for the man was created and consequently born to become understanding; the love of one woman to another is as the love of affection and affection of the understanding of men; for the woman was created and born to become a love of the understanding of a man. These loves, viz., of one man to another, and of one woman to another, do not enter deeply into the bosom, but remain without, and only touch each other; thus they do not interiorly conjoin the two parties: wherefore also two men, by their mutual reasonings, sometimes engage in combat together like two wrestlers; and two women, by their mutual concupiscences, are at war with each other like two prize-fighters. But the love of a man and a woman is the love of the understanding and of its affection; and this love enters deeply and effects conjunction, which is that love; but the conjunction of minds, and not at the same time of bodies, or the endeavour towards that conjunction alone, is spiritual love, and consequently chaste love; and this love exists only with those who are in true conjugial love, and thence in an eminent degree of potency; because such, from their chastity, do not admit an influx of love from the body of any other woman than of their own wives; and as they are in an extreme degree of potency, they cannot do otherwise than love the sex, and at the same time hold in aversion whatever is unchaste. Hence they are principled in a chaste love of the sex, which, considered in itself, is interior spiritual friendship, deriving its sweetness from an eminent degree of potency, but still being chaste. This eminent degree of potency they possess in consequence of a total renunciation of whoredom; and as each loves his own wife alone, the potency is chaste. Now, since this love with such partakes not of the flesh, but only of the spirit, therefore it is chaste; and as the beauty of the woman, from innate inclination, enters at the same time into the mind, therefore the love is sweet." On hearing this, many of the bystanders put their hands to their ears, saying, "What has been said offends our ears; and what you have spoken is of no account with us." These spirits were unchaste. Then again was heard the singing from heaven, and sweeter now than before; but to the unchaste it was so grating and discordant that they hurried out of the theatre and fled, leaving behind them only the few who from wisdom loved conjugial chastity.
56. THE SECOND MEMORABLE RELATION. As I was conversing with angels some time ago in the spiritual world, I was inspired with a desire, attended with a pleasing satisfaction, to see the TEMPLE OF WISDOM, which I had seen once before; and accordingly I asked them the way to it. They said, "Follow the light and you will find it." I said, "What do you mean by following the light?" They replied, "Our light grows brighter and brighter as we approach that temple; wherefore, follow the light according to the increase of its brightness; for our light proceeds from the Lord as a sun, and thence considered in itself is wisdom." I immediately directed my course, in company with two angels, according to the increase of the brightness of the light, and ascending by a steep path to the summit of a hill in the southern quarter. There we found a magnificent gate, which the keeper, on seeing the angels with me, opened; and lo! we saw an avenue of palm-trees and laurels, according to which we directed our course. It was a winding avenue, and terminated in a garden, in the middle of which was the TEMPLE OF WISDOM. On arriving there, and looking about me, I saw several small sacred buildings, resembling the temple, inhabited by the WISE. We went towards one of them, and coming to the door accosted the person who dwelt there, and told him the occasion and manner of our coming. He said, "You are welcome; enter and be seated, and we will improve our acquaintance by discourses respecting wisdom." I viewed the building within, and observed that it was divided into two, and still was but one; it was divided into two by a transparent wall; but it appeared as one from its translucence, which was like that of the purest crystal. I inquired the reason of this? He said, "I am not alone; my wife is with me, and we are two; yet still we are not two, but one flesh." But I replied, "I know that you are a wise one; and what has a wise one or a wisdom to do with a woman?" Hereupon our host, becoming somewhat indignant, changed countenance, and beckoned his hand, and lo! instantly other wise ones presented themselves from the neighboring buildings, to whom he said humorously, "Our stranger here asks, 'What has a wise one or a wisdom to do with a woman?'" At this they smiled and said, "What is a wise one or a wisdom without a woman, or without love, a wife being the love of a wise man's wisdom?" Our host then said, "Let us now endeavor to improve our acquaintance by some discourse respecting wisdom; and let it be concerning causes, and at present concerning the cause of beauty in the female sex." Then they spoke in order; and the first assigned as a cause, that women were created by the Lord's affections of the wisdom of men, and the affection of wisdom is essential beauty. A second said, that the woman was created by the Lord through the wisdom of the man, because from the man; and that hence she is a form of wisdom inspired with love-affection; and since love-affection is essential life, a female is the life of wisdom, whereas a male is wisdom; and the life of wisdom is essential beauty. A third said, that women have a perception of the delights of conjugial love; and as their whole body is an organ of that perception, it must needs be that the habitation of the delights of conjugial love, with its perception, be beauty. A fourth assigned this cause; that the Lord took away from the man beauty and elegance of life, and transferred it to the woman; and that hence the man, unless he be re-united with his beauty and elegance in the woman, is stern, austere, joyless, and unlovely; so one man is wise only for himself, and another is foolish; whereas, when a man is united with his beauty and elegance of life in a wife, he becomes engaging, pleasant, active, and lovely, and thereby wise. A fifth said, that women were created beauties, not for the sake of themselves, but for the sake of the men; that men, who of themselves are hard, might be made soft; that their minds, of themselves grave and severe, might become gentle and cheerful; and that their hearts, of themselves cold, might be made warm; which effects take place when they become one flesh with their wives. A sixth assigned as a cause, that the universe was created by the Lord a most perfect work; but that nothing was created in it more perfect than a beautiful and elegant woman, in order that man may give thanks to the Lord for his bounty herein, and may repay it by the reception of wisdom from him. These and many other similar observations having been made, the wife of our host appeared beyond the crystal wall, and said to her husband, "Speak if you please;" and then when he spoke, the life of wisdom from the wife was perceived in his discourse; for in the tone of his speech was her love: thus experience testified to the truth. After this we took a view of the temple of wisdom, and also of the paradisiacal scenes which encompassed it, and being thereby filled with joy, we departed, and passed through the avenue to the gate, and descended by the way we had ascended.
ON LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL.
57. There are infinite varieties of conjugial love, it being in no two persons exactly similar. It appears indeed as if it were similar with many; but this appearance arises from corporeal judgement, which, being gross and dull, is little qualified to discern aright respecting it. By corporeal judgement we mean the judgement of the mind from the evidence of the external senses; but to those whose eyes are opened to see from the judgment of the spirit, the differences are manifest; and more distinctly to those who are enabled to elevate the sight arising from such judgement to a higher degree, which is effected by withdrawing it from the senses, and exalting it into a superior light; these can at length confirm themselves in their understanding, and thereby see that conjugial love is never exactly similar in any two persons. Nevertheless no one can see the infinite varieties of this love in any light of the understanding however elevated, unless he first know what is the nature and quality of that love in its very essence and integrity, thus what was its nature and quality when, together with life, it was implanted in man from God. Unless this its state, which was most perfect, be known, it is in vain to attempt the discovery of its differences by any investigation; for there is no other fixed point, from which as a first principle those differences may be deduced, and to which as the focus of their direction they may be referred, and thus may appear truly and without fallacy. This is the reason why we here undertake to describe that love in its essence; and as it was in this essence when, together with life from God, it was infused into man, we undertake to describe it such as it was in its primeval state; and as in this state it was truly conjugial, therefore we have entitled this section, ON LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL. The description of it shall be given in the following order: I. There exists a love truly conjugial, which at this day is so rare that it is not known what is its quality, and scarcely that it exists. II. This love originates in the marriage of good and truth. III. There is a correspondence of this love with the marriage of the Lord and the church. IV. This love from its origin and correspondence, is celestial, spiritual, holy, pure, and clean, above every other love imparted by the Lord to the angels of heaven and the men of the church. V. It is also the foundation love of all celestial and spiritual loves, and thence of all natural loves. VI. Into this love are collected all joys and delights from first to last. VII. None however come into this love, and can be in it, but those who approach the Lord, and love the truths of the church and practise its goods. VIII. This love was the love of loves with the ancients, who lived in the golden, silver, and copper ages; but afterwards it successively departed. We now proceed to the explanation of each article.
58. I. THERE EXISTS A LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL, WHICH AT THIS DAY IS SO RARE THAT IS NOT KNOWN WHAT IS ITS QUALITY, AND SCARCELY THAT IT EXISTS. That there exists such conjugial love as is described in the following pages, may indeed be acknowledged from the first state of that love, when it insinuates itself, and enters into the hearts of a youth and a virgin; thus from its influence on those who begin to love one alone of the sex, and to desire to be joined therewith in marriage; and still more at the time of courtship and the interval which precedes the marriage-ceremony; and lastly during the marriage-ceremony and some days after it. At such times who does not acknowledge and consent to the following positions; that this love is the foundation of all loves, and also that into it are collected all joys and delights from first to last? And who does not know that, after this season of pleasure, the satisfactions thereof successively pass away and depart, till at length they are scarcely sensible? In the latter case, if it be said as before, that this love is the foundation of all loves, and that into it are collected all joys and delights, the positions are neither agreed to nor acknowledged, and possibly it is asserted that they are nonsense or incomprehensible mysteries. From these considerations it is evident, that primitive marriage love bears a resemblance to love truly conjugial, and presents it to view in a certain image. The reason of which is, because then the love of the sex, which is unchaste, is put away, and in its place the love of one of the sex, which is truly conjugial and chaste, remains implanted: in this case, who does not regard other women with indifference, and the one to whom he is united with love and affection?
59. The reason why love truly conjugial is notwithstanding so rare, that its quality is not known, and scarcely its existence, is, because the state of pleasurable gratifications before and at the time of marriage, is afterwards changed into a state of indifference arising from an insensibility to such gratifications. The causes of this change of state are too numerous to be here adduced; but they shall be adduced in a future part of this work, when we come to explain in their order the causes of coldnesses, separations, and divorces; from which it will be seen, that with the generality at this day this image of conjugial love is so far abolished, and with the image the knowledge thereof, that its quality and even its existence are scarcely known. It is well known, that every man by birth is merely corporeal, and that from corporeal he becomes natural more and more interiorly, and thus rational, and at length spiritual. The reason why this is effected progressively is, because the corporeal principle is like ground, wherein things natural, rational, and spiritual are implanted in their order; thus a man becomes more and more a man. The case is nearly similar when he enters into marriage; on this occasion a man becomes a more complete man, because he is joined with a consort, with whom he acts as one man: but this, in the first state spoken of above, is effected only in a sort of image: in like manner he then commences from what is corporeal, and proceeds to what is natural as to conjugial life, and thereby to a conjunction into a one. Those who, in this case, love corporeal natural things, and rational things only as grounded therein, cannot be conjoined to a consort as into a one, except as to those externals: and when those externals fail, cold takes possession of the internals; in consequence whereof the delights of that love are dispersed and driven away, as from the mind so from the body, and afterwards as from the body so from the mind; and this until there is nothing left of the remembrance of the primeval state of their marriage, consequently no knowledge respecting it. Now since this is the case with the generality of persons at this day, it is evident that love truly conjugial is not known as to its quality, and scarcely as to its existence. It is otherwise with those who are spiritual. With them the first state is an initiation into lasting satisfactions, which advance in degree, in proportion as the spiritual rational principle of the mind, and thence the natural sensual principle of the body, in each party, conjoin and unite themselves with the same principles in the other party; but such instances are rare.
60. II. THIS LOVE ORIGINATES IN THE MARRIAGE OF GOOD AND TRUTH. That all things in the universe have relation to good and truth, is acknowledged by every intelligent man, because it is a universal truth; that likewise in every thing in the universe good is conjoined with truth, and truth with good, cannot but be acknowledged, because this also is a universal truth, which agrees with the former. The reason why all things in the universe have relation to good and truth, and why good is conjoined with truth, and truth with good, is, because each proceeds from the Lord, and they proceed from him as a one. The two things which proceed from the Lord, are love and wisdom, because these are himself, thus from himself; and all things relating to love are called good, or goods, and all things relating to wisdom are called true, or truths; and as these two proceed from him as the creator, it follows that they are in the things created. This may be illustrated by heat and light which proceed from the sun: from them all things appertaining to the earth are derived, which germinate according to their presence and conjunction; and natural heat corresponds to spiritual heat, which is love, as natural light corresponds to spiritual light, which is wisdom.
61. That conjugial love proceeds from the marriage of good and truth, will be shewn in the following section or paragraph: It is mentioned here only with a view of shewing that this love is celestial, spiritual, and holy, because it is from a celestial, spiritual, and holy origin. In order to see that the origin of conjugial love is from the marriage of good and truth, it may be expedient in this place briefly to premise somewhat on the subject. It was said just above, that in every created thing there exists a conjunction of good and truth; and there is no conjunction unless it be reciprocal; for conjunction on one part, and not on the other in its turn, is dissolved of itself. Now as there is a conjunction of good and truth, and this is reciprocal, it follows that there is a truth of good, or truth grounded in good, and that there is a good of truth, or good grounded in truth; that the truth of good, or truth grounded in good, is in the male, and that it is the very essential male (or masculine) principle, and that the good of truth, or good grounded in truth, is in the female, and that it is the very essential female (or feminine) principle; also that there is a conjugial union between those two, will be seen in the following section: it is here only mentioned in order to give some preliminary idea on the subject.