The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction. Volume 19, No. 530, January 21, 1832 · Chapter 10The Gatherer
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Whose chief pleasure was in the proficiency of his troops in military discipline, whenever a new soldier made his first appearance in the guards, asked him three questions. The first was, "How old are you?" the second, "How long have you been in my service?" and the third, if he received his pay and his clothing as he wished.
A young Frenchman, who had been well disciplined, offered himself to enter the guards, where he was immediately accepted, in consequence of his experience in military tactics. The young recruit did not understand the Prussian language; so that the captain informed him, that when the king saw him first on the parade, he would make the usual inquiries of him in the Prussian language, therefore he must learn to make the suitable answers, in the form of which he was instructed. As soon as the king beheld a new face in the ranks, taking a lusty piece of snuff, he went up to him, and, unluckily for the soldier, he put the second question first, and asked him how long he had been in his service. The soldier answered as he was instructed, "Twenty-one years, and please your Majesty." The king was struck with his figure, which did not announce his age to be more than the time he answered he had been in his service. "How old are you?" said the king, in surprise. "One year, please your Majesty." The king, still more surprised, said, "Either you or I must be a fool!" The soldier, taking this for the third question, relative to his pay and clothing, replied, "Both, please your Majesty." "This is the first time," said Frederick, still more surprised, "that I have been called a fool at the head of my own guards."
The soldier's stock of instruction was now exhausted; and when the monarch still pursued the design of unravelling the mystery, the soldier informed him he could speak no more German, but that he would answer him in his native tongue.
Here Frederick perceived the nature of the situation, at which he laughed very heartily, and advised the young man to apply himself to learning the language of Prussia, and mind his duty.
I.B.D.
Derham, in his Physico-Theology on Respiration, says—"The story of Anne Green, executed at Oxford, December 14, 1650, is still well remembered among the seniors there. She was hanged by the neck near half an hour, some of her friends in the mean time thumping her on the breast, others hanging with all their weight upon her legs, sometimes lifting her up, and then pulling her down again with a sudden jerk, thereby the sooner to dispatch her out of her pain, as her printed account wordeth it. After she was in her coffin, being observed to breathe, a lusty fellow stamped with all his force on her breast and stomach, to put her out of her pain; but, by the assistance of Dr. Piety, Dr. Willis, Dr. Bathurst, and Dr. Clark, she was again brought to life. I myself saw her many years after, after she had (I heard) borne divers children. The particulars of her crime, execution, and restoration, see in a little pamphlet, called News from the Dead, written, as I have been informed, by Dr. Bathurst (afterwards the most vigilant and learned President of Trinity College, Oxon), and published in 1651, with verses upon the occasion."
P.T.W.
A pleasant young fellow, about half-seas-over, passing through the Strand at a late hour, was accosted by a watchman, who began with all the insolence of office to file a string of interrogatories, in the hope of being handsomly paid for his trouble.
"What is your name, sir?"—"Five Shillings."
"Where do you live?"—"Out of the king's dominions."
"Where have you been?"—"Where you would have been with all your heart."
"Where are you going?"—"Where you dare not go for your ears."
The officious guardian of the night thought these answers sufficient to warrant him to take the young man to the watch-house. The next morning, on being brought before the magistrate, he told his worship, "that as to the first question, his name was Thomas Crown; with regard to the second, he lived in Little Britain; with respect to the third, he had been drinking a glass of wine with a friend; and that as to the last," said he, "I was going home to my wife." The magistrate reprimanded the watchman in severe terms, and wished Mr. Crown a good morning.—I.B.D.
General Anstruther, having made himself unpopular, was obliged, on his return to Scotland, to pass in disguise to his own estate; and crossing a frith, he said to the waterman, "This is a pretty boat, I fancy you sometimes smuggle with it." The fellow replied, "I never smuggled a Brigadier before."
Amadeus the Ninth, Count of Savoy, being once asked where he kept his hounds, he pointed to a great number of poor people, who were seated at tables, eating and drinking, and replied, "Those are my hounds, with whom I go in chase of Heaven." When he was told that his alms would exhaust his revenues, "Take the collar of my order," said he, "sell it, and relieve my people." He was surnamed "the Happy."
P.T.W.
In Stratford Churchyard, near Salisbury.
To the memory of Elizabeth,wife of
William Brunsdon, who died Dec. 31,
1779, aged 101 years.
Freed from the sorrows, sickness, pain, and care,
To which all breath-inspired clay is heir,
The tend'rest mother, and the worthiest wife,
Reaps the full harvest of a well-spent life.
Here rest her ashes with her kindred dust—
Death's only conquest o'er the favoured just:
Her soul in Christ the tyrant's power defied,
And the Saint triumphed when the woman died.
In Amesbury Churchyard, Witts.
When sorrow weeps o'er virtue's sacred dust,
Then tears become us, and our grief is just;
Such cause had she to weep who gratefully pays
This last sad tribute of her love and praise,
Who mourns a sister and a friend combined,
Where female softness met a manly mind:
Mourns, but not murmurs—sighs, but not despairs—
Feels for her loss, but as a Christian bears.
COLBOURNE.
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Footnote 1: (return) Singapoor is derived from Sing-gah, signifying to call or touch at, bait, stop by the way; and poor, a village (generally fortified), a town, &c.—(Marsden's Malay Dictionary). It is considered at this island, or rather at this part of the island where the town is now situated (the name, however, has been given by Europeans to the whole island), there was formerly a village, inhabited principally by fishermen. The Malays, who traded from the eastward to Malacca, and others of the ports to the westward, touched at this place. Singa also signifies a lion (known by name only in the Malay countries), from which the name of the island has been (no doubt erroneously) supposed to be derived.
Footnote 2: (return) Kampong Glam, near Sincapore, has its flame derived, it is said, from Kampong, signifying a village; and Glam, the name of a particular kind of tree.
Footnote 3: (return) "He snatched lightning from heaven, and the sceptre from tyrants."
Footnote 4: (return) "Thou canst lead kings and their silly nobles."
Footnote 5: (return) "One out of many."
Footnote 6: (return) "They are called owls (striges) because they are accustomed to screech (stridere) by night."
Footnote 7: (return) Mr. Simeon's. None of our well-beloved renders, we presume, are so fresh as not to know this gentleman's name.
Footnote 8: (return) One of the sage and momentous injunctions of this pastoral charge.
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