The Life and Adventures of Robinson Crusoe of York, Mariner, Volume 1 · Chapter 8Robinson Crusoe. (7)
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I carefully saved the ears of this corn, you may be sure, in their season, which was about the end of June; and, laying up every corn, I resolved to sow them all again; hoping, in time, to have some quantity sufficient to supply me with bread. But it was not till the fourth year that I could allow myself the least grain of this corn to eat, and even then but sparingly, as I shall show afterwards, in its order; for I lost all that I sowed the first season, by not observing the proper time; as I sowed just before the dry season, so that it never came up at all, at least not as it would have done; of which in its place.
Besides this barley, there were, as above, twenty or thirty stalks of rice, which I preserved with the same care; and whose use was of the same kind, or to the same purpose, viz. to make me bread, or rather food; for I found ways to cook it up without baking, though I did that also after some time.—But to return to my Journal.
I worked excessively hard these three or four months, to get my wall done; and the 14th of April I closed it up; contriving to get into it, not by a door, but over the wall, by a ladder, that there might be no sign on the outside of my habitation.
April 16. I finished the ladder; so I went up with the ladder to the top, and then pulled it up after me, and let it down in the inside: this was a complete enclosure to me; for within I had room enough, and nothing could come at me from without, unless it could first mount my wall.
The very next day after this wall was finished, I had almost all my labour overthrown at once, and myself killed; the case was thus:—As I was busy in the inside of it, behind my tent, just at the entrance into my cave, I was terribly frightened with a most dreadful surprising thing indeed; for, all on a sudden, I found the earth come crumbling down from the roof of my cave, and from the edge of the hill over my head, and two of the posts I had set up in the cave cracked in a frightful manner. I was heartily scared; but thought nothing of what really was the cause, only thinking that the top of my cave was falling in, as some of it had done before: and for fear I should be buried in it, I ran forward to my ladder, and not thinking myself safe there neither, I got over my wall for fear of the pieces of the hill which I expected might roll down upon me. I had no sooner stepped down upon the firm ground, than I plainly saw it was a terrible earthquake; for the ground I stood on shook three times at about eight minutes distance, with three such shocks as would have overturned the strongest building that could be supposed to have stood on the earth; and a great piece of the top of a rock, which stood about half a mile from me, next the sea, fell down, with such a terrible noise as I never heard in all my life. I perceived also that the very sea was put into a violent motion by it; and I believe the shocks were stronger under the water than on the island.
I was so much amazed with the thing itself (having never felt the like, nor discoursed with any one that had) that I was like one dead or stupified; and the motion of the earth made my stomach sick, like one that was tossed at sea: but the noise of the falling of the rock awaked me, as it were; and rousing me from the stupified condition I was in, filled me with horror, and I thought of nothing but the hill falling upon my tent and my household goods, and burying all at once; this sunk my very soul within me a second time.
After the third shock was over, and I felt no more for some time, I began to take courage; yet I had not heart enough to go over my wall again, for fear of being buried alive, but sat still upon the ground greatly cast down, and disconsolate, not knowing what to do. All this while, I had not the least serious religious thought; nothing but the common Lord, have mercy upon me! and when it was over, that went away too.
While I sat thus, I found the air overcast, and grow cloudy, as if it would rain; and soon after the wind rose by little, and little, so that in less than half an hour it blew a most dreadful hurricane: the sea was, all on a sudden, covered with foam and froth; the shore was covered with a breach of the water; the trees were torn up by the roots; and a terrible storm it was. This held about three hours, and then began to abate; and in two hours more it was quite calm, and began to rain very hard. All this while I sat upon the ground, very much terrified and dejected; when on a sudden it came into my thoughts, that these winds and rain being the consequence of the earthquake, the earthquake itself was spent and over, and I might venture into my cave again. With this thought my spirits began to revive; and the rain also helping to persuade me, I went in, and sat down in my tent; but the rain was so violent, that my tent was ready to be beaten down with it; and I was forced to get into my cave, though very much afraid and uneasy, for fear it should fall on my head. This violent rain forced me to a new work, viz. to cut a hole through my new fortification, like a sink, to let the water go out, which would else have drowned my cave. After I had been in my cave for some time, and found no more shocks of the earthquake follow, I began to be more composed. And now to support my spirits, which indeed wanted it very much, I went to my little store, and took a small sup of rum; which, however, I did then, and always, very sparingly, knowing I could have no more when that was gone. It continued raining all that night, and great part of the next day, so that I could not stir abroad; but my mind being more composed, I began to think of what I had best do; concluding, that if the island was subject to these earthquakes, there would be no living for me in a cave, but I must consider of building me some little hut in an open place, which I might surround with a wall, as I had done here, and so make myself secure from wild beasts or men; for if I staid where I was, I should certainly, one time or other, be buried alive.
With these thoughts, I resolved to remove my tent from the place where it now stood, being just under the hanging precipice of the hill, and which, if it should be shaken again, would certainly fall upon my tent. I spent the two next days, being the 19th and 20th of April, in contriving where and how to remove my habitation. The fear of being swallowed alive affected me so, that I never slept in quiet; and yet the apprehension of lying abroad, without any fence, was almost equal to it: but still, when I looked about, and saw how every thing was put in order, how pleasantly I was concealed, and how safe from danger, it made me very loth to remove. In the mean time, it occurred to me that it would require a vast deal of time for me to do this; and that I must be contented to run the risk where I was, till I had formed a convenient camp, and secured it so as to remove to it. With this conclusion I composed myself for a time; and resolved that I would go to work with all speed to build me a wall with piles and cables, &c. in a circle as before, and set up my tent in it when it was finished; but that I would venture to stay where I was till it was ready, and fit to remove to. This was the 21st.
April 22. The next morning I began to consider of means to put this measure into execution; but I was at a great loss about the tools. I had three large axes, and abundance of hatchets (for we carried the hatchets for traffic with the Indians;) but with much chopping and cutting knotty hard wood, they were all full of notches, and dull; and though I had a grind-stone, I could not turn it and grind my tools too. This caused me as much thought as a statesman would have bestowed upon a grand point of politics, or a judge upon the life and death of a man. At length I contrived a wheel with a string, to turn it with my foot, that I might have both my hands at liberty.
Note. I had never seen any such thing in England, or at least not to take notice how it was done, though since I have observed it is very common there: besides that, my grind-stone was very large and heavy. This machine cost me a full week's work to bring it to perfection.
April 28, 29. These two whole days I took up in grinding my tools, my machine for turning my grind-stone performing very well.
April 30. Having perceived that my bread had been low a great while, I now took a survey of it, and reduced myself to one biscuit-cake a day, which made my heart very heavy.
May 1. In the morning, looking toward the sea-side, the tide being low, I saw something lie on the shore bigger than ordinary, and it looked like a cask: when I came to it, I found a small barrel, and two or three pieces of the wreck of the ship, which were driven on shore by the late hurricane; and looking towards the wreck itself, I thought it seemed to lie higher out of the water than it used to do. I examined the barrel that was driven on shore, and soon found it was a barrel of gunpowder; but it had taken water, and the powder was caked as hard as a stone: however, I rolled it farther on the shore for the present, and went on upon the sands, as near as I could to the wreck of the ship, to look for more.
When I came down to the ship, I found it strangely removed. The forecastle, which lay before buried in sand, was heaved up at least six feet: and the stern (which was broke to pieces, and parted from the rest, by the force of the sea, soon after I had left rummaging of her) was tossed, as it were, up, and cast on one side: and the sand was thrown so high on that side next her stern, that I could now walk quite up to her when the tide was out; whereas there was a great piece of water before, so that I could not come within a quarter of a mile of the wreck without swimming. I was surprised with this at first, but soon concluded it must be done by the earthquake; and as by this violence the ship was more broke open than formerly, so many things came daily on shore, which the sea had loosened, and which the winds and water rolled by degrees to the land.
This wholly diverted my thoughts from the design of removing my habitation; and I busied myself mightily, that day especially, in searching whether I could make any way into the ship: but I found nothing was to be expected of that kind, for all the inside of the ship was choked up with sand. However, as I had learned not to despair of any thing, I resolved to pull every thing to pieces that I could of the ship, concluding that every thing I could get from her would be of some use or other to me.
May 3. I began with my saw, and cut a piece of a beam through, which I thought held some of the upper part or quarter deck together; and when I had cut it through, I cleared away the sand as well as I could from the side which lay highest; but the tide coming in, I was obliged to give over for that time.
May 4. I went a-fishing, but caught not one fish that I durst eat of, till I was weary of my sport; when, just going to leave off, I caught a young dolphin. I had made me a long line of some rope-yarn, but I had no hooks; yet I frequently caught fish enough, as much as I cared to eat; all which I dried in the sun, and ate them dry.
May 5. Worked on the wreck; cut another beam asunder, and brought three great fir-planks off from the decks; which I tied together, and made swim on shore when the tide of flood came on.
May 6. Worked on the wreck; got several iron bolts out of her, and other pieces of iron-work; worked very hard, and came home very much tired, and had thoughts of giving it over.
May 7. Went to the wreck again, but not with an intent to work; but found the weight of the wreck had broke itself down, the beams being cut; that several pieces of the ship seemed to lie loose; and the inside of the hold lay so open that I could see into it; but almost full of water and sand.
May 8. Went to the wreck, and carried an iron crow to wrench up the deck, which lay now quite clear of the water and sand. I wrenched up two planks, and brought them on shore also with the tide. I left the iron crow in the wreck for next day.
May 9. Went to the wreck, and with the crow made way into the body of the wreck, and felt several casks, and loosened them with the crow, but could not break them up. I felt also a roll of English lead, and could stir it; but it was too heavy to remove.
May 10—14. Went every day to the wreck; and got a great many pieces of timber, and boards, or plank, and two or three hundred weight of iron.
May 15. I carried two hatchets, to try if I could not cut a piece off the roll of lead, by placing the edge of one hatchet, and driving it with the other; but as it lay about a foot and a half in the water, I could not make any blow to drive the hatchet.
May 16. It had blown hard in the night, and the wreck appeared more broken by the force of the water; but I staid so long in the woods, to get pigeons for food, that the tide prevented my going to the wreck that day.
May 17. I saw some pieces of the wreck blown on shore, at a great distance, two miles off me, but resolved to see what they were, and found it was a piece of the head, but too heavy for me to bring away.
May 24. Every day, to this day, I worked on the wreck; and with hard labour I loosened some things so much with the crow, that the first blowing tide several casks floated out, and two of the seamen's chests: but the wind blowing from the shore, nothing came to land that day but pieces of timber, and a hogshead, which had some Brazil pork in it; but the salt-water and the sand had spoiled it. I continued this work every day to the 15th of June, except the time necessary to get food; which I always appointed, during this part of my employment, to be when the tide was up, that I might be ready when it was ebbed out: and by this time I had gotten timber, and plank, and iron-work, enough to have built a good boat, if I had known how: and I also got, at several times, and in several pieces, near one hundred weight of the sheet-lead.
June 16. Going down to the sea-side, I found a large tortoise, or turtle. This was the first I had seen; which, it seems, was only my misfortune, not any defect of the place, or scarcity: for had I happened to be on the other side of the island, I might have had hundreds of them every day, as I found afterwards; but perhaps had paid dear enough for them.
June 17. I spent in cooking the turtle. I found in her threescore eggs: and her flesh was to me, at that time, the most savoury and pleasant that I ever tasted in my life; having had no flesh, but of goats and fowls, since I landed in this horrid place.
June 18. Rained all that day, and I staid within. I thought, at this time, the rain felt cold, and I was somewhat chilly; which I knew was not usual in that latitude.
June 19. Very ill, and shivering, as if the weather had been cold.
June 20. No rest all night; violent pains in my head, and feverish.
June 21. Very ill; frightened almost to death with the apprehensions of my sad condition, to be sick, and no help: prayed to God, for the first time since the storm off Hull; but scarce knew what I said, or why, my thoughts being all confused.
June 22. A little better; but under dreadful apprehensions of sickness.
June 23. Very bad again; cold and shivering, and then a violent head-ache.
June 24. Much better.
June 25. An ague very violent: the fit held me seven hours; cold fit, and hot, with faint sweats after it.
June 26. Better; and having no victuals to eat, took my gun, but found myself very weak: however, I killed a she-goat, and with much difficulty got it home, and broiled some of it, and ate. I would fain have stewed it, and made some broth, but had no pot.
June 27. The ague again so violent that I lay a-bed all day, and neither ate nor drank. I was ready to perish for thirst; but so weak, I had not strength to stand up, or to get myself any water to drink. Prayed to God again, but was light-headed: and when I was not, I was so ignorant that I knew not what to say; only lay and cried, "Lord, look upon me! Lord, pity me! Lord, have mercy upon me!" I suppose I did nothing else for two or three hours; till the fit wearing off, I fell asleep, and did not wake till far in the night. When I awoke, I found myself much refreshed, but weak, and exceeding thirsty: however, as I had no water in my whole habitation, I was forced to lie till morning, and went to sleep again. In this second sleep I had this terrible dream: I thought that I was sitting on the ground, on the outside of my wall, where I sat when the storm blew after the earthquake, and that I saw a man descend from a great black cloud, in a bright flame of fire, and light upon the ground: he was all over as bright as a flame, so that I could but just bear to look towards him: his countenance was most inexpressibly dreadful, impossible for words to describe: when he stepped upon the ground with his feet, I thought the earth trembled, just as it had done before in the earthquake; and all the air looked, to my apprehension, as if it had been filled with flashes of fire. He had no sooner landed upon the earth, but he moved forward towards me, with a long spear or weapon in his hand, to kill me; and when he came to a rising ground, at some distance, he spoke to me, or I heard a voice so terrible that it is impossible to express the terror of it: all that I can say I understood, was this: "Seeing all these things have not brought thee to repentance, now thou shalt die;" at which words I thought he lifted up the spear that was in his hand, to kill me.
No one that shall ever read this account, will expect that I should be able to describe the horrors of my soul at this terrible vision; I mean, that even while it was a dream, I even dreamed of those horrors; nor is it any more possible to describe the impression that remained upon my mind when I awaked, and found it was but a dream.
I had, alas! no divine knowledge: what I had received by the good instruction of my father was then worn out, by an uninterrupted series, for eight years, of seafaring wickedness, and a constant conversation with none but such as were, like myself, wicked and profane to the last degree. I do not remember that I had, in all that time, one thought that so much as tended either to looking upward towards God, or inward towards a reflection upon my own ways: but a certain stupidity of soul, without desire of good, or consciousness of evil, had entirely overwhelmed me; and I was all that the most hardened, unthinking, wicked creature among our common sailors, can be supposed to be; not having the least sense, either of the fear of God, in danger, or of thankfulness to him, in deliverances.
In the relating what is already past of my story, this will be the more easily believed, when I shall add, that through all the variety of miseries that had to this day befallen me, I never had so much as one thought of its being the hand of God, or that it was a just punishment for my sin; either my rebellious behaviour against my father, or my present sins, which were great; or even as a punishment for the general course of my wicked life. When I was on the desperate expedition on the desert shores of Africa, I never had so much as one thought of what would become of me; or one wish to God to direct me whither I should go, or to keep me from the danger which apparently surrounded me, as well from voracious creatures as cruel savages: but I was quite thoughtless of a God or a Providence; acted like a mere brute, from the principles of nature, and by the dictates of common sense only; and indeed hardly that. When I was delivered and taken up at sea by the Portuguese captain, well used, and dealt with justly and honourably, as well as charitably, I had not the least thankfulness in my thoughts. When, again, I was shipwrecked, ruined, and in danger of drowning, on this island, I was as far from remorse, or looking on it as a judgment: I only said to myself often, that I was an unfortunate dog, and born to be always miserable.
It is true, when I first got on shore here, and found all my ship's crew drowned, and myself spared, I was surprised with a kind of ecstasy, and some transports of soul, which, had the grace of God assisted, might have come up to true thankfulness; but it ended where it began, in a mere common flight of joy; or, as I may say, being glad I was alive, without the least reflection upon the distinguished goodness of the hand which had preserved me, and had singled me out to be preserved when all the rest were destroyed, or an inquiry why Providence had been thus merciful to me: just the same common sort of joy which seamen generally have, after they are got safe ashore from a shipwreck; which they drown all in the next bowl of punch, and forget almost as soon as it is over: and all the rest of my life was like it. Even when I was, afterwards, on due consideration, made sensible of my condition,—how I was cast on this dreadful place, out of the reach of human kind, out of all hope of relief, or prospect of redemption,—as soon as I saw but a prospect of living, and that I should not starve and perish for hunger, all the sense of my affliction wore off, and I began to be very easy, applied myself to the works proper for my preservation and supply, and was far enough from being afflicted at my condition, as a judgment from Heaven, or as the hand of God against me: these were thoughts which very seldom entered into my head.
The growing up of the corn, as is hinted in my Journal, had, at first, some little influence upon me, and began to affect me with seriousness, as long as I thought it had something miraculous in it; but as soon as that part of the thought was removed, all the impression which was raised from it wore off also, as I have noted already. Even the earthquake, though nothing could be more terrible in its nature, or more immediately directing to the invisible Power which alone directs such things, yet no sooner was the fright over, but the impression it had made went off also. I had no more sense of God, or his judgments, much less of the present affliction of my circumstances being from his hand, than if I had been in the most prosperous condition of life. But now, when I began to be sick, and a leisure view of the miseries of death came to place itself before me; when my spirits began to sink under the burden of a strong distemper, and nature was exhausted with the violence of the fever; conscience, that had slept so long, began to awake; and I reproached myself with my past life, in which I had so evidently, by uncommon wickedness, provoked the justice of God to lay me under uncommon strokes, and to deal with me in so vindictive a manner. These reflections oppressed me for the second or third day of my distemper; and in the violence, as well of the fever as of the dreadful reproaches of my conscience, extorted from me some words like praying to God: though I cannot say it was a prayer attended either with desires or with hopes; it was rather the voice of mere fright and distress. My thoughts were confused; the convictions great upon my mind; and the horror of dying in such a miserable condition, raised vapours in my head with the mere apprehension: and, in these hurries of my soul, I knew not what my tongue might express: but it was rather exclamation, such as, "Lord, what a miserable creature am I! If I should be sick, I shall certainly die for want of help; and what will become of me?" Then the tears burst out of my eyes, and I could say no more for a good while. In this interval, the good advice of my father came to my mind, and presently his prediction, which I mentioned at the beginning of this story, viz. that if I did take this foolish step, God would not bless me; and I should have leisure hereafter to reflect upon having neglected his counsel, when there might be none to assist in my recovery. "Now," said I, aloud, "my dear father's words are come to pass; God's justice has overtaken me, and I have none to help or hear me. I rejected the voice of Providence, which had mercifully put me in a station of life wherein I might have been happy and easy; but I would neither see it myself, nor learn from my parents to know the blessing of it. I left them to mourn over my folly; and now I am left to mourn under the consequences of it: I refused their help and assistance, who would have pushed me in the world, and would have made every thing easy to me; and now I have difficulties to struggle with, too great for even nature itself to support; and no assistance, no comfort, no advice." Then I cried out, "Lord, be my help, for I am in great distress." This was the first prayer, if I may call it so, that I had made for many years. But I return to my Journal.
June 28. Having been somewhat refreshed with the sleep I had had, and the fit being entirely off, I got up; and though the fright and terror of my dream was very great, yet I considered that the fit of the ague would return again the next day, and now was my time to get something to refresh and support myself when I should be ill. The first thing I did was to fill a large square case-bottle with water; and set it upon my table, in reach of my bed: and to take off the chill or aguish disposition of the water, I put about a quarter of a pint of rum into it, and mixed them together. Then I got me a piece of the goat's flesh, and broiled it on the coals, but could eat very little. I walked about; but was very weak, and withal very sad and heavy-hearted under a sense of my miserable condition, dreading the return of my distemper the next day. At night, I made my supper of three of the turtle's eggs; which I roasted in the ashes, and ate, as we call it, in the shell: and this was the first bit of meat I had ever asked God's blessing to, as I could remember, in my whole life. After I had eaten, I tried to walk; but found myself so weak, that I could hardly carry the gun (for I never went out without that;) so I went but a little way, and sat down upon the ground, looking out upon the sea, which was just before me, and very calm and smooth. As I sat here, some such thoughts as these occurred to me: What is this earth and sea, of which I have seen so much? Whence is it produced? And what am I, and all the other creatures, wild and tame, human and brutal? Whence are we? Surely, we are all made by some secret power, who formed the earth and sea, the air and sky. And who is that? Then it followed most naturally, It is God that has made all. Well, but then, it came on strangely, if God has made all these things, he guides and governs them all, and all things that concern them; for the power that could make all things, must certainly have power to guide and direct them: if so, nothing can happen in the great circuit of his works, either without his knowledge or appointment.