The Delights of Wisdom Pertaining to Conjugial Love · Chapter 18Preliminary Relations Respecting the Joys of Heaven and Nuptials There. (17)
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185. I. THE STATE OF A MAN'S (homo) LIFE, FROM INFANCY EVEN TO THE END OF HIS LIFE, AND AFTERWARDS TO ETERNITY, IS CONTINUALLY CHANGING. The common states of a man's life are called infancy, childhood, youth, manhood, and old age. That every man, whose life is continued in the world, successively passes from one state into another, thus from the first to the last, is well known. The transitions into those ages only become evident by the intervening spaces of time: that nevertheless they are progressive from one moment to another, thus continual, is obvious to reason; for the case is similar with a man as with a tree, which grows and increases every instant of time, even the most minute, from the casting of the seed into the earth. These momentaneous progressions are also changes of state; for the subsequent adds something to the antecedent, which perfects the state. The changes which take place in a man's internals, are more perfectly continuous than those which take place in his externals; because a man's internals, by which we mean the things appertaining to his mind or spirit, are elevated into a superior degree above his externals; and in those principles which are in a superior degree, a thousand effects take place in the same instant in which one effect is wrought in externals. The changes which take place in internals, are changes of the state of the will as to affections, and of the state of the understanding as to thoughts. The successive changes of state of the latter and of the former are specifically meant in the proposition. The changes of these two lives or faculties are perpetual with every man from infancy even to the end of his life, and afterwards to eternity; because there is no end to knowledge, still less to intelligence, and least of all to wisdom; for there is infinity and eternity in the extent of these principles, by virtue of the Infinite and Eternal One, from whom they are derived. Hence comes the philosophical tenet of the ancients, that everything is divisible in infinitum; to which may be added, that it is multiplicable in like manner. The angels assert, that by wisdom from the Lord they are being perfected to eternity; which also means to infinity; because eternity is the infinity of time.
186. II. IN LIKE MANNER A MAN'S (homo) INTERNAL FORM WHICH IS THAT OF HIS SPIRIT, IS CONTINUALLY CHANGING. The reason why this form is continually changing as the state of the man's life is changed, is, because there is nothing that exists but in a form, and state induces that form; wherefore it is the same whether we say that the state of a man's life is changed, or that its form is changed. All a man's affections and thoughts are in forms, and thence from forms; for forms are their subjects. If affections and thoughts were not in subjects, which are formed, they might exist also in skulls without a brain; which would be the same thing as to suppose sight without an eye, hearing without an ear, and taste without a tongue. It is well known that there are subjects of these senses, and that these subjects are forms. The state of life, and thence the form, with a man, is continually changing; because it is a truth which the wise have taught and still teach, that there does not exist a sameness, or absolute identity of two things, still less of several; as there are not two human faces the same, and still less several: the case is similar in things successive, in that no subsequent state of life is the same as a preceding one; whence it follows, that there is a perpetual change of the state of life with every man, consequently also a perpetual change of form, especially of his internals. But as these considerations do not teach anything respecting marriages, but only prepare the way for knowledges concerning them, and since also they are mere philosophical inquiries of the understanding, which, with some persons, are difficult of apprehension, we will pass them without further discussion.
187. III. THESE CHANGES DIFFER IN THE CASE OF MEN AND OF WOMEN; SINCE MEN FROM CREATION ARE FORMS OF KNOWLEDGE, INTELLIGENCE, AND WISDOM; AND WOMEN ARE FORMS OF THE LOVE OF THOSE PRINCIPLES AS EXISTING WITH MEN. That men were created forms of the understanding, and that women were created forms of the love of the understanding of men, may be explained above, n. 90. That the changes of state, which succeed both with men and women from infancy to mature age, are for the perfecting of forms, the intellectual form with men, and the voluntary with women, follows as a consequence: hence it is clear, that the changes with men differ from those with women; nevertheless with both, the external form which is of the body is perfected according to the perfecting of the internal form which is of the mind; for the mind acts upon the body, and not vice versa. This is the reason why infants in heaven become men of stature and comeliness according as they increase in intelligence; it is otherwise with infants on earth, because they are encompassed with a material body like the animals; nevertheless they agree in this, that they first grow in inclination to such things as allure their bodily senses, and afterwards by little and little to such things as affect the internal thinking sense, and by degrees to such things as tincture the will with affection; and when they arrive at an age which is midway between mature and immature, the conjugial inclination begins, which is that of a maiden to a youth, and of a youth to a maiden; and as maidens in the heavens, like those on earth from an innate prudence conceal their inclination to marriage, the youths there know no other than that they affect the maidens with love; and this also appears to them in consequence of their masculine eagerness; which they also derive from an influx of love from the fair sex; concerning which influx we shall speak particularly elsewhere. From these considerations the truth of the proposition is evident, that the changes of state with men differ from those with women; since men from creation are forms of knowledge, intelligence and wisdom, and women are forms of the love of those principles as existing with men.
188. IV. WITH MEN THERE IS AN ELEVATION OF THE MIND INTO SUPERIOR LIGHT, AND WITH WOMEN AN ELEVATION OF THE MIND INTO SUPERIOR HEAT; AND THE WOMAN IS MADE SENSIBLE OF THE DELIGHTS OF HER HEAT IN THE MAN'S LIGHT. By the light into which men are elevated, we mean intelligence and wisdom; because spiritual light, which proceeds from the sun of the spiritual world, which sun in its essence is love, acts in equality or unity with those two principles; and by the heat into which women are elevated, we mean conjugial love because spiritual heat, which proceeds from the sun of that world, in its essence is love, and with women it is love conjoining itself with intelligence and wisdom in men; which love in its complex is called conjugial love, and by determination becomes that love. It is called elevation into superior light and heat, because it is elevation into the light and heat which the angels of the superior heavens enjoy: it is also an actual elevation, as from a thick mist into pure air, and from an inferior region of the air into a superior, and from thence into ether; therefore elevation into superior light with men is elevation into superior intelligence, and thence into wisdom; in which also there are ascending degrees of elevation; but elevation into superior heat with women is an elevation into chaster and purer conjugial love, and continually towards the conjugial principle, which from creation lies concealed in their inmost principles. These elevations, considered in themselves, are openings of the mind; for the human mind is distinguished into regions, as the world is distinguished into regions as to the atmosphere; the lowest of which is the watery, the next above is the aerial, and still higher is the ethereal, above which there is also the highest: into similar regions the mind of man is elevated as it is opened, with men by wisdom, and with women by love truly conjugial.
189. We have said, that the woman is made sensible of the delights of her heat in the man's light; by which we mean that the woman is made sensible of the delights of her love in the man's wisdom, because wisdom is the receptacle; and wherever love finds such a receptacle corresponding to itself, it is in the enjoyment of its delights: but we do not mean, that heat with its light is delighted out of forms, but within them; and spiritual heat is delighted with spiritual light in their forms to a greater degree, because those forms by virtue of wisdom and love are vital, and thereby susceptible. This may be illustrated by what are called the sports of heat with light in the vegetable kingdom: out of the vegetable there is only a simple conjunction of heat and light, but within it there is a kind of sport of the one with the other; because there they are in forms or receptacles; for they pass through astonishing meandering ducts, and in the inmost principles therein they tend to use in bearing fruit, and also breathe forth their satisfactions far and wide into the atmosphere, which they fill with fragrance. The delight of spiritual heat with spiritual light is more vividly perceivable in human forms, in which spiritual heat is conjugial love, and spiritual light is wisdom.
190. V. WITH BOTH MEN AND WOMEN, THE STATES OF LIFE BEFORE MARRIAGE ARE DIFFERENT FROM WHAT THEY ARE AFTERWARDS. Before marriage, each sex passes through two states, one previous and the other subsequent to the inclination for marriage. The changes of both these states, and the consequent formations of minds, proceed in successive order according to their continual increase; but we have not leisure now to describe these changes, which are various and different in their several subjects. The inclination to marriage, previous to marriage, are only imaginary in the mind, and become more and more sensible in the body; but the states thereof after marriage are states of conjunction and also of prolification, which, it is evident, differ from the forgoing states as effects differ from intentions.
191. VI. WITH MARRIED PARTNERS THE STATES OF LIFE AFTER MARRIAGE ARE CHANGED AND SUCCEED EACH OTHER ACCORDING TO THE CONJUNCTIONS OF THEIR MINDS BY CONJUGIAL LOVE. The reason why changes of the state and the successions thereof after marriage, with both the man and the wife, are according to conjugial love with each, and thus are either conjunctive or disjunctive of their minds, is, because conjugial love is not only various but also different with conjugial pairs: various, with those who love each other interiorly; for with such it has its intermissions, notwithstanding its being inwardly in its heat regular and permanent; but it is different with those who love each other only exteriorly; for with such its intermissions do not proceed from similar causes, but from alternate cold and heat. The true ground of these differences is, that with the latter the body is the principal agent, the ardour of which spreads itself around, and forcibly draws into communion with it the inferior principles of the mind; whereas, with the former, who love each other interiorly, the mind is the principal agent, and brings the body into communion with it. It appears as if love ascended from the body into the soul; because as soon as the body catches the allurement, it enters through the eyes, as through doors, into the mind, and thus through the sight, as through an outer court, into the thoughts, and instantly into the love: nevertheless it descends from the mind, and acts upon the inferior principles according to their orderly arrangement; therefore the lascivious mind acts lasciviously, and the chaste mind chastely; and the latter arranges the body, whereas the former is arranged by the body.
192. VII. MARRIAGE ALSO INDUCES OTHER FORMS IN THE SOULS AND MINDS OF MARRIED PARTNERS. That marriage has this effect cannot be observed in the natural world; because in this world souls and minds are encompassed with a material body, through which the mind rarely shines: the men (homines) also of modern times, more than the ancients, are taught from their infancy to assume feigned countenances, whereby they deeply conceal the affections of their minds; and this is the reason why the forms of minds are not known and distinguished according to their different quality, as existing before marriage and after it: nevertheless that the forms of souls and minds differ after marriage from what they were before, is very manifest from their appearance in the spiritual world; for they are then spirits and angels, who are minds and souls in a human form, stripped of their outward coverings, which had been composed of watery and earthy elements, and of aerial vapors thence arising; and when these are cast off, the forms of the minds are plainly seen, such as they had been inwardly in their bodies; and then it is clearly perceived, that there is a difference in regard to those forms with those who live in marriage, and with those who do not. In general, married partners have an interior beauty of countenance, the man deriving from the wife the ruddy bloom of her love, and the wife from the man the fair splendor of his wisdom; for two married partners in the spiritual world are united as to their souls; and moreover there appears in each a human fulness. This is the case in heaven, because there are no marriages (conjugia) in any other place; beneath heaven there are only nuptial connections (connubia), which are alternately tied and loosed.
193. VIII. THE WOMAN IS ACTUALLY FORMED INTO A WIFE, ACCORDING TO THE DESCRIPTION IN THE BOOK OF CREATION. In this book it is said, that the woman was created out of the man's rib, and that the man said, when she was brought to him, "This is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; and she shall be called Eve (Ischah), because she was taken out of man (Isch):" Gen. chap. ii. 21-23. A rib of the breast, in the Word, signifies, in the spiritual sense, natural truth. This is signified by the ribs which the bear carried between his teeth, Dan. vii. 5; for bears signify those who read the Word in the natural sense, and see truths therein without understanding: the man's breast signifies that essential and peculiar principle, which is distinguished from the breast of the woman: that this is wisdom, may be seen above, n. 187; for truth supports wisdom as the ribs do the breast. These things are signified, because the breast is that part of a man in which all his principles are as in their centre. From these considerations, it is evident, that the woman was created out of the man by a transfer of his peculiar wisdom, which is the same thing as to be created out of natural truth; and that the love thereof was transferred from the man into the woman, to the end that conjugial love might exist; and that this was done in order that the love of the wife and not self-love might be in the man: for the wife, in consequence of her innate disposition, cannot do otherwise than convert self-love, as existing with the man, into his love to herself; and I have been informed, that this is effected by virtue of the wife's love itself, neither the man nor the wife being conscious of it: hence, no man can possibly love his wife with true conjugial love, who from a principle of self-love is vain and conceited of his own intelligence. When this arcanum relating to the creation of the woman from the man, is understood, it may then be seen, that the woman in like manner is as it were created or formed from the man in marriage; and that this is effected by the wife, or rather through her by the Lord, who imparts inclinations to women whereby they produce such an effect: for the wife receives into herself the image of a man, and thereby appropriates to herself his affections, as may be seen above, n. 183; and conjoins the man's internal will with her own, of which we shall treat presently; and also claims to herself the propagated forms (propagines) of his soul, of which also we shall speak elsewhere. From these considerations it is evident, that, according to the description in the book of Genesis, interiorly understood, a woman is formed into a wife by such things as she takes out of the husband and his breast, and implants in herself.
194. IX. THIS FORMATION IS EFFECTED ON THE PART OF THE WIFE BY SECRET MEANS; AND THIS IS MEANT BY THE WOMAN'S BEING CREATED WHILE THE MAN SLEPT. It is written in the book of Genesis, that Jehovah God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, so that he slept; and that then he took one of his ribs, and builded it into a woman: chap. ii. 21, 22. That by the man's sleep and sleeping is signified his entire ignorance that the wife is formed and as it were created from him, appears from what was shewn in the preceding chapter, and also from the innate prudence and circumspection of wives, not to divulge anything concerning their love, or their assumption of the affections of the man's life, and thereby of the transfer of his wisdom into themselves. That this is effected on the part of the wife without the husband's knowledge, and while he is as it were sleeping, thus by secret means, is evident from what was explained above, n. 166-168; where also it is clearly shewn, that the prudence with which women are influenced herein, was implanted in them from creation, and consequently from their birth, for reasons of necessity, so that conjugial love, friendship, and confidence, and thereby the blessedness of dwelling together and a happy life, may be secured: wherefore for the right accomplishing of this, the man is enjoined to leave his father and mother and to cleave to his wife, Gen. ii. 24; Matt. xix. 4, 5. The father and mother, whom the man is to leave, in a spiritual sense signify his proprium of will and proprium of understanding; and the proprium of a man's (homo) will is to love himself, and the proprium of his understanding is to love his own wisdom; and to cleave to his wife signifies to devote himself to the love of his wife. Those two propriums are deadly evils to man, if they remain with him, and the love of those two propriums is changed into conjugial love, so far as a man cleaves to his wife, that is, so far as he receives her love; see above, n. 193, and elsewhere. To sleep signifies to be in ignorance and unconcern; a father and a mother signify the two propriums of a man (homo), the one of the will and the other of the understanding; and to cleave to, signifies to devote one's self to the love of any one, as might be abundantly confirmed from passages in other parts of the Word; but this would be foreign to our present subject.
195. X. THIS FORMATION ON THE PART OF THE WIFE IS EFFECTED BY THE CONJUNCTION OF HER OWN WILL WITH THE INTERNAL WILL OF THE MAN. That the man possesses rational and moral wisdom, and that the wife conjoins herself with those things which relate to his moral wisdom, may be seen above, n. 163-165. The things which relate to rational wisdom constitute the man's understanding, and those which relate to moral wisdom constitute his will. The wife conjoins herself with those things which constitute the man's will. It is the same, whether we say that the wife conjoins herself, or that she conjoins her will to the man's will; because she is born under the influence of the will, and consequently in all her actions acts from the will. The reason why it is said with the man's internal will, is, because the man's will resides in his understanding, and the man's intellectual principle is the inmost principle of the woman, according to what was observed above concerning the formation of the woman from the man, n. 32, and in other places. The man has also an external will; but this frequently takes its tincture from simulation and dissimulation. This will the wife notices; but she does not conjoin herself with it, except pretendedly or in the way of sport.
196. XI. THE END HEREIN IS, THAT THE WILL OF BOTH MAY BECOME ONE, AND THAT THUS BOTH MAY BECOME ONE MAN (homo): for whoever conjoins to himself the will of another, also conjoins to himself his understanding; for the understanding regarded in itself is merely the minister and servant of the will. That this is the case, appears evidently from the affection of love, which moves the understanding to think as it directs. Every affection of love belongs to the will; for what a man loves that he also wills. From these considerations it follows, that whoever conjoins to himself the will of a man conjoins to himself the whole man: hence it is implanted as a principle in the wife's love to unite the will of her husband to her own will; for hereby the wife becomes the husband's, and the husband the wife's; thus both become one man (homo).
197. XII. THIS FORMATION (ON THE PART OF THE WIFE) IS EFFECTED BY AN APPROPRIATION OF THE AFFECTIONS OF THE HUSBAND. This article agrees with the two preceding, because affections are of the will; for affections which are merely derivations of the love, form the will, and make and compose it; but these affections with men are in the understanding, whereas with women they are in the will.
198. XIII. THIS FORMATION (ON THE PART OF THE WIFE) IS EFFECTED BY A RECEPTION OF THE PROPAGATIONS OF THE SOUL OF THE HUSBAND, WITH THE DELIGHT ARISING FROM HER DESIRE TO BE THE LOVE OF HER HUSBAND'S WISDOM. This coincides with what was explained above, n. 172, 173, therefore any further explanation is needless. Conjugial delights with wives arise solely from their desire to be one with their husbands, as good is one with truth in the spiritual marriage. That conjugial love descends from this spiritual marriage, has been proved above in the chapter which treats particularly on that subject; hence it may be seen, as in an image, that the wife conjoins the man to herself, as good conjoins truth to itself; and that the man reciprocally conjoins himself to the wife, according to the reception of her love in himself, as truth reciprocally conjoins itself to good, according to the reception of good in itself; and that thus the love of the wife forms itself by the wisdom of the husband, as good forms itself by truth; for truth is the form of good. From these considerations it is also evident, that conjugial delights with the wife originate principally in her desiring to be one with the husband, consequently to be the love of her husband's wisdom; for in such case she is made sensible of the delights of her own heat in the man's light, according to what was explained in Article IV., n. 188.
199. XIV. THUS A MAIDEN IS FORMED INTO A WIFE, AND A YOUTH INTO A HUSBAND. This flows as a consequence, from what has been said above in this and the foregoing chapter respecting the conjunction of married partners into one flesh. A maiden becomes or is made a wife, because in a wife there are principles taken out of the husband, and therefore supplemental, which were not previously in her as a maiden: a youth also becomes or is made a husband, because in a husband there are principles taken out of the wife, which exalt his receptibility of love and wisdom, and which were not previously in him as a youth: this is the case with those who are principled in love truly conjugial. That it is these who feel themselves a united man (homo), and as it were one flesh, may be seen in the preceding chapter, n. 178. From these considerations it is evident, that with females the maiden principle is changed into that of a wife, and with men the youthful principle is changed into that of a husband. That this is the case, was experimentally confirmed to me in the spiritual world, as follows: Some men asserted, that conjunction with a female before marriage is like conjunction with a wife after marriage.—On hearing this, the wives were very indignant, and said: "There is no likeness at all in the two cases. The difference between them is like that between what is fancied and what is real." Hereupon the men rejoined, "Are you not females as before?" To this the wives replied more sharply, "We are not females, but wives; you are in fancied and not in real love; you therefore talk fancifully." Then the men said, "If you are not females (feminae) still you are women (mulieres):" and they replied, "In the first states of marriage we were women (mulieres); but now we are wives."
200. XV. IN THE MARRIAGE OF ONE MAN WITH ONE WIFE, BETWEEN WHOM THERE EXISTS LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL, THE WIFE BECOMES MORE AND MORE A WIFE, AND THE HUSBAND MORE AND MORE A HUSBAND. That love truly conjugial more and more conjoins two into one man (homo), may be seen above n. 178, 179; and as a wife becomes a wife from and according to conjunction with the husband, and in like manner the husband with the wife; and as love truly conjugial endures to eternity, it follows, that the wife becomes more and more a wife, and the husband more and more a husband. The true reason of this is, because in the marriage of love truly conjugial, each married partner becomes continually a more interior man; for that love opens the interiors of their minds; and as these are opened, a man becomes more and more a man (homo): and to become more a man (homo) in the case of the wife is to become more a wife, and in the case of the husband to become more a husband. I have heard from the angels, that the wife becomes more and more a wife as the husband becomes more and more a husband, but not vice versa; because it rarely, if ever, happens, that a chaste wife is wanting in love to her husband, but that the husband is wanting in a return of love to his wife; and that this return of love is wanting because he has no elevation of wisdom, which alone receives the love of the wife: respecting this wisdom see above n. 130, 163-165. These things however they said in regard to marriages on earth.
201. XVI. THUS ALSO THEIR FORMS ARE SUCCESSIVELY PERFECTED AND ENNOBLED FROM WITHIN. The most perfect and noble human form results from the conjunction of two forms by marriage so as to become one form; thus from two fleshes becoming one flesh, according to creation. That in such case the man's mind is elevated into superior light, and the wife's into superior heat, and that then they germinate, and bear flowers and fruits, like trees in the spring, may be seen above, n. 188, 189. That from the nobleness of this form are produced noble fruits, which in the heavens are spiritual, and on earth natural, will be seen in the following article.
202. XVII. CHILDREN BORN OF PARENTS WHO ARE PRINCIPLED IN LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL, DERIVE FROM THEM THE CONJUGIAL PRINCIPLE OF GOOD AND TRUTH, WHENCE THEY HAVE AN INCLINATION AND FACULTY, IF SONS, TO PERCEIVE THE THINGS RELATING TO WISDOM, AND IF DAUGHTERS, TO LOVE THOSE THINGS WHICH WISDOM TEACHES. That children derive from their parents inclination to such things as had been objects of the love and life of the parents, is a truth most perfectly agreeable to the testimony of history in general, and of experience in particular; but that they do not derive or inherit from their parents the affections themselves, and thence the lives of those affections, but only inclinations and faculties thereto, has been shewn me by the wise in the spiritual world; concerning whom, see the two MEMORABLE RELATIONS above adduced. That children to the latest posterity, from innate inclinations, if they are not modified, are led into affections, thoughts, speech, and life, similar to those of their parents, is clearly manifest from the Jews, who at this day are like their fathers in Egypt, in the wilderness, in the land of Canaan, and in the Lord's time; and this likeness is not confined to their minds only, but extends to their countenances; for who does not know a Jew by his look? The case is the same with the descendants of others: from which considerations it may infallibly be concluded, that children are born with inclinations to such things as their parents were inclined to. But it is of the divine providence, lest thought and act should follow inclination, that perverse inclinations may be corrected; and also that a faculty has been implanted for this purpose, by virtue whereof parents and masters have the power of amending the morals of children, and children may afterwards, when they come to years of discretion, amend their own morals.