The Anatomy of Melancholy · Chapter 95Symptoms or signs of Love Melancholy, in Body, Mind, good, bad, &c. (4)
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[5507]———Chlamydemque ut pendeat apte
Collocat, ut limbus totumque appareat aurum.
He put his cloak in order, that the lace.
And hem, and gold-work, all might have his grace.
Salmacis would not be seen of Hermaphroditus, till she had spruced up herself first,
[5508]Nec tamen ante adiit, etsi properabat adire,
Quam se composuit, quam circumspexit amictus,
Et finxit vultum, et meruit formosa videri.
Nor did she come, although 'twas her desire,
Till she compos'd herself, and trimm'd her tire,
And set her looks to make him to admire.
Venus had so ordered the matter, that when her son [5509]Aeneas was to appear before Queen Dido, he was
(Os humerosque deo similis (namque ipsa decoram
Caesariem nato genetrix, lumenque juventae
Purpureum et laetos oculis afflarat honores.)
like a god, for she was the tire-woman herself, to set him out with all natural and artificial impostures. As mother Mammea did her son Heliogabalus, new chosen emperor, when he was to be seen of the people first. When the hirsute cyclopical Polyphemus courted Galatea;
[5510]Jamque tibi formae, jamque est tibi cura placendi,
Jam rigidos pectis rastris Polypheme capillos,
Jam libet hirsutam tibi falce recidere barbam,
Et spectare feros in aqua et componere vultus.
And then he did begin to prank himself,
To plait and comb his head, and beard to shave,
And look his face i' th' water as a glass,
And to compose himself for to be brave.
He was upon a sudden now spruce and keen, as a new ground hatchet. He now began to have a good opinion of his own features and good parts, now to be a gallant.
Jam Galatea veni, nec munera despice nostra,
Certe ego me novi, liquidaque in imagine vidi
Nuper aquae, placuitque mihi mea forma videnti.
Come now, my Galatea, scorn me not,
Nor my poor presents; for but yesterday
I saw myself i' th' water, and methought
Full fair I was, then scorn me not I say.
[5511]Non sum adeo informis, nuper me in littore vidi,
Cum placidum ventis staret mare———
'Tis the common humour of all suitors to trick up themselves, to be prodigal in apparel, pure lotus, neat, combed, and curled, with powdered hair, comptus et calimistratus, with a long love-lock, a flower in his ear, perfumed gloves, rings, scarves, feathers, points, &c. as if he were a prince's Ganymede, with everyday new suits, as the fashion varies; going as if he trod upon eggs, as Heinsius writ to Primierus, [5512]“if once he be besotten on a wench, he must like awake at nights, renounce his book, sigh and lament, now and then weep for his hard hap, and mark above all things what hats, bands, doublets, breeches, are in fashion, how to cut his beard, and wear his locks, to turn up his mustachios, and curl his head, prune his pickedevant, or if he wear it abroad, that the east side be correspondent to the west;” he may be scoffed at otherwise, as Julian that apostate emperor was for wearing a long hirsute goatish beard, fit to make ropes with, as in his Mysopogone, or that apologetical oration he made at Antioch to excuse himself, he doth ironically confess, it hindered his kissing, nam non licuit inde pura puris, eoque suavioribus labra labris adjungere, but he did not much esteem it, as it seems by the sequel, de accipiendis dandisve osculis non laboro, yet (to follow mine author) it may much concern a young lover, he must be more respectful in this behalf, “he must be in league with an excellent tailor, barber,”
[5513]Tonsorem pucrum sed arte talem,
Qualis nec Thalamis fuit Neronis;
“have neat shoe-ties, points, garters, speak in print, walk in print, eat and drink in print, and that which is all in all, he must be mad in print.”
Amongst other good qualities an amorous fellow is endowed with, he must learn to sing and dance, play upon some instrument or other, as without all doubt he will, if he be truly touched with this loadstone of love. For as [5514]Erasmus hath it, Musicam docet amor et Poesia, love will make them musicians, and to compose ditties, madrigals, elegies, love sonnets, and sing them to several pretty tunes, to get all good qualities may be had. [5515]Jupiter perceived Mercury to be in love with Philologia, because he learned languages, polite speech, (for Suadela herself was Venus' daughter, as some write) arts and sciences, quo virgini placeret, all to ingratiate himself, and please his mistress. 'Tis their chiefest study to sing, dance; and without question, so many gentlemen and gentlewomen would not be so well qualified in this kind, if love did not incite them. [5516]“Who,” saith Castilio, “would learn to play, or give his mind to music, learn to dance, or make so many rhymes, love-songs, as most do, but for women's sake, because they hope by that means to purchase their good wills, and win their favour?” We see this daily verified in our young women and wives, they that being maids took so much pains to sing, play, and dance, with such cost and charge to their parents, to get those graceful qualities, now being married will scarce touch an instrument, they care not for it. Constantine agricult. lib. 11. cap. 18, makes Cupid himself to be a great dancer; by the same token as he was capering amongst the gods, [5517]“he flung down a bowl of nectar, which distilling upon the white rose, ever since made it red:” and Calistratus, by the help of Dedalus, about Cupid's statue [5518]made a many of young wenches still a dancing, to signify belike that Cupid was much affected with it, as without all doubt he was. For at his and Psyche's wedding, the gods being present to grace the feast, Ganymede filled nectar in abundance (as [5519]Apuleius describes it), Vulcan was the cook, the Hours made all fine with roses and flowers, Apollo played on the harp, the Muses sang to it, sed suavi Musicae super ingressa Venus saltavit, but his mother Venus danced to his and their sweet content. Witty [5520]Lucian in that pathetical love passage, or pleasant description of Jupiter's stealing of Europa, and swimming from Phoenicia to Crete, makes the sea calm, the winds hush, Neptune and Amphitrite riding in their chariot to break the waves before them, the tritons dancing round about, with every one a torch, the sea-nymphs half naked, keeping time on dolphins' backs, and singing Hymeneus, Cupid nimbly tripping on the top of the waters, and Venus herself coming after in a shell, strewing roses and flowers on their heads. Praxiteles, in all his pictures of love, feigns Cupid ever smiling, and looking upon dancers; and in St. Mark's in Rome (whose work I know not), one of the most delicious pieces, is a many of [5521]satyrs dancing about a wench asleep. So that dancing still is as it were a necessary appendix to love matters. Young lasses are never better pleased than when as upon a holiday, after evensong, they may meet their sweethearts, and dance about a maypole, or in a town-green under a shady elm. Nothing so familiar in. [5522]France, as for citizens' wives and maids to dance a round in the streets, and often too, for want of better instruments, to make good music of their own voices, and dance after it. Yea many times this love will make old men and women that have more toes than teeth, dance,—“John, come kiss me now,” mask and mum; for Comus and Hymen love masks, and all such merriments above measure, will allow men to put on women's apparel in some cases, and promiscuously to dance, young and old, rich and poor, generous and base, of all sorts. Paulus Jovius taxeth Augustine Niphus the philosopher, [5523]“for that being an old man, and a public professor, a father of many children, he was so mad for the love of a young maid (that which many of his friends were ashamed to see), an old gouty fellow, yet would dance after fiddlers.” Many laughed him to scorn for it, but this omnipotent love would have it so.
[5524]Hyacinthino bacillo
Properans amor, me adegit
Violenter ad sequendum.
Love hasty with his purple staff did make
Me follow and the dance to undertake.
And 'tis no news this, no indecorum; for why? a good reason may be given of it. Cupid and death met both in an inn; and being merrily disposed, they did exchange some arrows from either quiver; ever since young men die, and oftentimes old men dote—[5525]Sic moritur Juvenis, sic moribundus amat. And who can then withstand it? If once we be in love, young or old, though our teeth shake in our heads, like virginal jacks, or stand parallel asunder like the arches of a bridge, there is no remedy, we must dance trenchmore for a need, over tables, chairs, and stools, &c. And princum prancum is a fine dance. Plutarch, Sympos. 1. quaest. 5. doth in some sort excuse it, and telleth us moreover in what sense, Musicam docet amor, licet prius fuerit rudis, how love makes them that had no skill before learn to sing and dance; he concludes, 'tis only that power and prerogative love hath over us. [5526]“Love” (as he holds) “will make a silent man speak, a modest man most officious; dull, quick; slow, nimble; and that which is most to be admired, a hard, base, untractable churl, as fire doth iron in a smith's forge, free, facile, gentle, and easy to be entreated.” Nay, 'twill make him prodigal in the other extreme, and give a [5527]hundred sesterces for a night's lodging, as they did of old to Lais of Corinth, or [5528] ducenta drachmarum millia pro unica nocte, as Mundus to Paulina, spend all his fortunes (as too many do in like case) to obtain his suit. For which cause many compare love to wine, which makes men jovial and merry, frolic and sad, whine, sing, dance, and what not.
But above all the other symptoms of lovers, this is not lightly to be overpassed, that likely of what condition soever, if once they be in love, they turn to their ability, rhymers, ballad makers, and poets. For as Plutarch saith, [5529]“They will be witnesses and trumpeters of their paramours' good parts, bedecking them with verses and commendatory songs, as we do statues with gold, that they may be remembered and admired of all.” Ancient men will dote in this kind sometimes as well as the rest; the heat of love will thaw their frozen affections, dissolve the ice of age, and so far enable them, though they be sixty years of age above the girdle, to be scarce thirty beneath. Jovianus Pontanus makes an old fool rhyme, and turn poetaster to please his mistress.
[5530]Ne ringas Mariana, meos me dispice canos,
De sene nam juvenem dia referre potes, &c.
Sweet Marian do not mine age disdain,
For thou canst make an old man young again.
They will be still singing amorous songs and ditties (if young especially), and cannot abstain though it be when they go to, or should be at church. We have a pretty story to this purpose in [5531]Westmonasteriensis, an old writer of ours (if you will believe it) An. Dom. 1012. at Colewiz in Saxony, on Christmas eve a company of young men and maids, whilst the priest was at mass in the church, were singing catches and love songs in the churchyard, he sent to them to make less noise, but they sung on still: and if you will, you shall have the very song itself.
Equitabat homo per sylvam frondosam,
Ducebatque secum Meswinden formosam.
Quid stamus, cur non imus?
A fellow rid by the greenwood side,
And fair Meswinde was his bride,
Why stand we so, and do not go?
This they sung, he chaft, till at length, impatient as he was, he prayed to St. Magnus, patron of the church, they might all three sing and dance till that time twelvemonth, and so [5532]they did without meat and drink, wearisomeness or giving over, till at year's end they ceased singing, and were absolved by Herebertus archbishop of Cologne. They will in all places be doing thus, young folks especially, reading love stories, talking of this or that young man, such a fair maid, singing, telling or hearing lascivious tales, scurrilous tunes, such objects are their sole delight, their continual meditation, and as Guastavinius adds, Com. in 4. Sect. 27. Prov. Arist. ob seminis abundantiam crebrae cogitationes, veneris frequens recordatio et pruriens voluptas, &c. an earnest longing comes hence, pruriens corpus, pruriens anima, amorous conceits, tickling thoughts, sweet and pleasant hopes; hence it is, they can think, discourse willingly, or speak almost of no other subject. 'Tis their only desire, if it may be done by art, to see their husband's picture in a glass, they'll give anything to know when they shall be married, how many husbands they shall have, by cromnyomantia, a kind of divination with [5533]onions laid on the altar on Christmas eve, or by fasting on St. Anne's eve or night, to know who shall be their first husband, or by amphitormantia, by beans in a cake, &c., to burn the same. This love is the cause of all good conceits, [5534] neatness, exornations, plays, elegancies, delights, pleasant expressions, sweet motions, and gestures, joys, comforts, exultancies, and all the sweetness of our life, [5535]qualis jam vita foret, aut quid jucundi sine aurea Venere? [5536]Emoriar cum ista non amplius mihi cura fuerit, let me live no longer than I may love, saith a mad merry fellow in Mimnermus. This love is that salt that seasoneth our harsh and dull labours, and gives a pleasant relish to our other unsavoury proceedings, [5537]Absit amor, surgunt tenebrae, torpedo, veternum, pestis, &c. All our feasts almost, masques, mummings, banquets, merry meetings, weddings, pleasing songs, fine tunes, poems, love stories, plays, comedies, Atellans, jigs, Fescennines, elegies, odes, &c. proceed hence. [5538]Danaus, the son of Belus, at his daughter's wedding at Argos, instituted the first plays (some say) that ever were heard of symbols, emblems, impresses, devices, if we shall believe Jovius, Coutiles, Paradine, Camillus de Camillis, may be ascribed to it. Most of our arts and sciences, painting amongst the rest, was first invented, saith [5539]Patritius ex amoris beneficio, for love's sake. For when the daughter of [5540]Deburiades the Sycionian, was to take leave of her sweetheart now going to wars, ut desiderio ejus minus tabesceret, to comfort herself in his absence, she took his picture with coal upon a wall, as the candle gave the shadow, which her father admiring, perfected afterwards, and it was the first picture by report that ever was made. And long after, Sycion for painting, carving, statuary, music, and philosophy, was preferred before all the cities in Greece. [5541]Apollo was the first inventor of physic, divination, oracles; Minerva found out weaving, Vulcan curious ironwork, Mercury letters, but who prompted all this into their heads? Love, Nunquam talia invenissent, nisi talia adamassent, they loved such things, or some party, for whose sake they were undertaken at first. 'Tis true, Vulcan made a most admirable brooch or necklace, which long after Axion and Temenus, Phegius' sons, for the singular worth of it, consecrated to Apollo at Delphos, but Pharyllus the tyrant stole it away, and presented it to Ariston's wife, on whom he miserably doted (Parthenius tells the story out of Phylarchus); but why did Vulcan make this excellent Ouch? to give Hermione Cadmus' wife, whom he dearly loved. All our tilts and tournaments, orders of the garter, golden fleece, &c.—Nobilitas sub amore jacet—owe their beginnings to love, and many of our histories. By this means, saith Jovius, they would express their loving minds to their mistress, and to the beholders. 'Tis the sole subject almost of poetry, all our invention tends to it, all our songs, whatever those old Anacreons: (and therefore Hesiod makes the Muses and Graces still follow Cupid, and as Plutarch holds, Menander and the rest of the poets were love's priests,) all our Greek and Latin epigrammatists, love writers. Antony Diogenes the most ancient, whose epitome we find in Phocius Bibliotheca, Longus Sophista, Eustathius, Achilles, Tatius, Aristaenetus, Heliodorus, Plato, Plutarch, Lucian, Parthenius, Theodorus, Prodromus, Ovid, Catullus, Tibullus, &c. Our new Ariostoes, Boyards, Authors of Arcadia, Urania, Faerie Queen, &c. Marullus, Leotichius, Angerianus, Stroza, Secundus, Capellanus, &c. with the rest of those facete modern poets, have written in this kind, are but as so many symptoms of love. Their whole books are a synopsis or breviary of love, the portuous of love, legends of lovers' lives and deaths, and of their memorable adventures, nay more, quod leguntur, quod laudantur amori debent, as [5542]Nevisanus the lawyer holds, “there never was any excellent poet that invented good fables, or made laudable verses, which was not in love himself;” had he not taken a quill from Cupid's wings, he could never have written so amorously as he did.
[5543]Cynthia te vatem fecit lascive Properti,
Ingenium Galli pulchra Lycoris habet.
Fama est arguti Nemesis formosa Tibulli,
Lesbia dictavit docte Catulle tibi.
Non me Pelignus, nec spernet Mantua vatem,
Si qua Corinna mihi, si quis Alexis erit.
Wanton Propertius and witty Callus,
Subtile Tibullus, and learned Catullus,
It was Cynthia, Lesbia, Lychoris,
That made you poets all; and if Alexis,
Or Corinna chance my paramour to be,
Virgil and Ovid shall not despise me.
[5544]Non me carminibus vincet nec Thraceus Orpheus,
Nec Linus.
Petrarch's Laura made him so famous, Astrophel's Stella, and Jovianus Pontanus' mistress was the cause of his roses, violets, lilies, nequitiae, blanditiae, joci, decor, nardus, ver, corolla, thus, Mars, Pallas, Venus, Charis, crocum, Laurus, unguentem, costum, lachrymae, myrrha, musae, &c. and the rest of his poems; why are Italians at this day generally so good poets and painters? Because every man of any fashion amongst them hath his mistress. The very rustics and hog-rubbers, Menalcas and Corydon, qui faetant de stercore equino, those fulsome knaves, if once they taste of this love-liquor, are inspired in an instant. Instead of those accurate emblems, curious impresses, gaudy masques, tilts, tournaments, &c., they have their wakes, Whitsun-ales, shepherd's feasts, meetings on holidays, country dances, roundelays, writing their names on [5545]trees, true lover's knots, pretty gifts.
With tokens, hearts divided, and half rings,
Shepherds in their loves are as coy as kings.
Choosing lords, ladies, kings, queens, and valentines, &c., they go by couples,
Corydon's Phillis, Nysa and Mopsus,
With dainty Dousibel and Sir Tophus.
Instead of odes, epigrams and elegies, &c., they have their ballads, country tunes, “O the broom, the bonny, bonny broom,” ditties and songs, “Bess a belle, she doth excel,”—they must write likewise and indite all in rhyme.
[5546]Thou honeysuckle of the hawthorn hedge,
Vouchsafe in Cupid's cup my heart to pledge;
My heart's dear blood, sweet Cis is thy carouse
Worth all the ale in Gammer Gubbin's house.
I say no more, affairs call me away,
My father's horse for provender doth stay.
Be thou the Lady Cressetlight to me.
Sir Trolly Lolly will I prove to thee.
Written in haste, farewell my cowslip sweet,
Pray let's a Sunday at the alehouse meet.
Your most grim stoics and severe philosophers will melt away with this passion, and if [5547]Atheneus belie them not, Aristippus, Apollodorus, Antiphanes, &c., have made love-songs and commentaries of their mistress' praises, [5548]orators write epistles, princes give titles, honours, what not? [5549]Xerxes gave to Themistocles Lampsacus to find him wine, Magnesia for bread, and Myunte for the rest of his diet. The [5550]Persian kings allotted whole cities to like use, haec civitas mulieri redimiculum praebeat, haec in collum, haec in crines, one whole city served to dress her hair, another her neck, a third her hood. Ahasuerus would [5551]have given Esther half his empire, and [5552]Herod bid Herodias “ask what she would, she should have it.” Caligula gave 100,000 sesterces to his courtesan at first word, to buy her pins, and yet when he was solicited by the senate to bestow something to repair the decayed walls of Rome for the commonwealth's good, he would give but 6000 sesterces at most. [5553]Dionysius, that Sicilian tyrant, rejected all his privy councillors, and was so besotted on Mirrha his favourite and mistress, that he would bestow no office, or in the most weightiest business of the kingdom do aught without her especial advice, prefer, depose, send, entertain no man, though worthy and well deserving, but by her consent; and he again whom she commended, howsoever unfit, unworthy, was as highly approved. Kings and emperors, instead of poems, build cities; Adrian built Antinoa in Egypt, besides constellations, temples, altars, statues, images, &c., in the honour of his Antinous. Alexander bestowed infinite sums to set out his Hephestion to all eternity. [5554]Socrates professeth himself love's servant, ignorant in all arts and sciences, a doctor alone in love matters, et quum alienarum rerum omnium scientiam diffiteretur, saith [5555]Maximus Tyrius, his sectator, hujus negotii professor, &c., and this he spake openly, at home and abroad, at public feasts, in the academy, in Pyraeo, Lycaeo, sub Platano, &c., the very bloodhound of beauty, as he is styled by others. But I conclude there is no end of love's symptoms, 'tis a bottomless pit. Love is subject to no dimensions; not to be surveyed by any art or engine: and besides, I am of [5556]Haedus' mind, “no man can discourse of love matters, or judge of them aright, that hath not made trial in his own person,” or as Aeneas Sylvius [5557]adds, “hath not a little doted, been mad or lovesick himself.” I confess I am but a novice, a contemplator only, Nescio quid sit amor nec amo[5558]—I have a tincture; for why should I lie, dissemble or excuse it, yet homo sum, &c., not altogether inexpert in this subject, non sum praeceptor amandi, and what I say, is merely reading, ex altorum forsan ineptiis, by mine own observation, and others' relation.