Memoir and Diary of John Yeardley, Minister of the Gospel · Chapter 8Part 8
This chapter is not translated yet. You are reading the original.
14th. Since Thomas Shillitoe and I visited Eidinghausen, there has been a remarkable revival to a sense of religion; a number come together in a sort of society every First-day afternoon, to read, sing, and pray for the edification one of another. As all things have a beginning, this may perhaps prove a step to a more perfect way of worship. I had long felt inclined to visit the meeting in Eidinghausen, and had looked towards accomplishing it from Minden.
I went there on the 9th inst., and my intention to be there being known a few days before caused many of these awakened people to attend the meeting so that the little school-room was quite full, and many stood in the passage. I was truly thankful to be amongst them, for it proved a most satisfactory season. They are a rustic set of folks, but have each a soul to save or to lose, and all souls are of equal value in the sight of the Judge of the whole earth. Lewis Seebohm kindly gave up his time to attend me as interpreter, for I still prefer help of this sort when it can be done through one who is so feelingly capable. I often feel as a poor wandering stranger in a strange land, and yet I dare not complain. The goodness of the Lord is great towards me; he opens the hearts of those whom I am concerned to visit, to receive me into their hearts and houses, so that it affords me great freedom in speaking to them on serious subjects relating to their best interests, both spiritual and temporal. I am convinced if we mean to be useful to a people of a strange land, all must be done in a spirit of love and humility; with the weak we must be willing to become weak; only we must be on our guard and not flinch from our well-known testimonies.
The reflection contained in the passage which follows is of deep significance, and the lesson it conveys is one which the Church has as much need to learn now as at any former period.
15th.--We find recorded in the writings of our ancient Friends that occasionally a few words spoken in the course of common conversation made a deep impression on the minds of those to whom they were addressed. The cause must have been that they lived in a more retired state of mind, and were consequently better prepared to feel the smallest of good impressions in themselves, and were also more attentive to embrace every opportunity of improving the minds of others. I fail in this respect; I do not live enough in what may be truly called a spirit of prayer. I must be more watchful over my thoughts, words and actions, and improve my seasons of retirement; for there is no other way of preservation than by waiting and praying for a renewal of spiritual strength.
John Yeardley then reverts, as he so often does, to the love of souls in Germany, which was the means of causing him to leave his native land, and which he says had not diminished during his eighteen months' residence among them. To these thoughts he adds some considerations regarding the temporal condition of the Society of Friends there, on account of which he was often very solicitous.
The situation and welfare of the Society here have long occupied the warmest feelings of my heart. I am of the mind, with other Friends who have visited these parts, that there is a precious hidden work begun in the hearts of many in Germany, who suffer under oppression, on account of the many discouraging circumstances which have existed among them, and which yet prevail, to the great hindrance of the Lord's work. There are causes for which no human remedy can be prescribed. I have often said in my heart, If the Lord help them not, vain is the help of man. Much has been done for them by our dear Friends in England, and much still remains to be done, in order that they may be preserved together and not become dispersed as though they had never been a people.
The effectual means of help seems yet to fail,--that of putting the families in the way of helping themselves by suitable employment. The families who live in the neighborhood of Minden, mostly on small parcels of land, have until now got on with a tolerable degree of comfort, by cultivating their land in summer and spinning yarn in winter; but now the depression is so great that if they could be put into the way of earning threepence a day, they would embrace it with thankfulness. I have been very diffident in proponing any plan for their assistance, knowing that some former proposals have failed of accomplishing the end. But I have consulted with those who are best acquainted with their situation, and we think it safest for them to continue their own employment of spinning yarn, and endeavor to mend their trade by placing it on this footing. They must spin such an article as I can make use of in sending it, with what I buy from other people, to my friends in the linen business in England. I am to give them a little higher price than they can elsewhere obtain, and those who have no flax of their own must have a little money advanced to purchase some, which they must repay in yarn. When the yarn is disposed of in England, and a profit on the same can be obtained, it must be distributed among them as a premium to encourage industry and good management in producing a good article. If this does not answer, I cannot see any thing at present that will.
How far this scheme was put in practice we are unable to say, but we believe it was not accompanied by any successful result.
In the next entry he speaks of the advantage which he derived from keeping a diary.
11 mo. 17.--I was this evening accidentally induced to read over a few of my former memorandums; and it humbled my spirit to retrace the dealings of my merciful Father with me. I am glad that I have from time to time penned down a few remarks by way of diary, although it has been done interruptedly and very imperfectly. It proves a means of enabling me to see a wonderful concurrence in the ways of Divine Wisdom which has led me in a way that I knew not, and hitherto preserved me through the mercies of his love: praise be to his Name now and for ever. Amen.
After his return from Minden he accompanied John and William Seebohm, who were going on a journey of business to Leipzig. They went by way of Brunswick and Halberstadt, and returned by Nordhausen and Eimbeck. In this tour through the heart of Germany, John Yeardley made many observations on the state of agriculture, the cities, and the character of the people. Of the last they met with several curious traits, some of them sufficiently annoying.
On many great roads, says J.Y., there is a summer and a winter way, running parallel to each other, with a rail across, on which is a notice that the way is forbidden by a fine of 6d. or 8d, for each horse, that the traveller may know when to take the summer or the winter road. We stopped on the way [they were not far from Wolfenbüttel] to give our horses a little bread, and our coachman drove to the side of the road to make way for carriages to pass. But he had inadvertently gone over the setting on of the road; and the roadmaster came to us, and told us we must not feed our horses there, as it was not allowed to drive over the stones on the side, under a penalty of three shillings per horse. The evening of the same day we fed our horses at an inn, and walked before, leaving the man to follow us. I and my young friend W.S. sought the cleanest part of the way by walking in the course made for the water, which was green and clean; but so soon as we came by the inspectors, who are mostly employed on the road, one of them told us we must mind for the future and keep the right footpath, or pay 6d. each. This I considered as an infringement of English liberty, and was ready to reason with him on the subject; but I reflected that I was a stranger, and that it is always better and more polite to submit quietly to the regulations of the country in which we live, than bring ourselves into difficulty through incivility or contention.
In returning from Leipzig, J.Y. and his friends committed a more serious offence against the pragmatical regulations of the German States.
On our journey homewards we had much perplexity with some cloth, &c. which J.S. had bought in Leipzig to bring to Pyrmont. This arose from want of better information respecting the laws of the Prussian territory. They are exceedingly strict as to duties. All kinds of wares are allowed to pass through the country at what may be called a reasonable excise; but those travellers who have excise goods with them must preserve a certain road, called the Zoll-strasse. It was our lot to miss this road; for apprehending ourselves at liberty to pursue what road we pleased, we took another way. But we found our mistake when we came to the place where the duty is paid; for we were informed we had taken the wrong road, and that transit duty could not be received; we must either pay the full excise as when goods remain in the Prussian territory, or return back until we came again into the Zoll-strasse. It took some time to consider which was best to be done. To be sent about we knew not whither, and on roads scarcely passable, would prove a serious inconvenience; and on the other hand it was exceedingly mortifying to pay for such a trifle so enormous an excise. The officer was very civil, but told us it was not in his power to do otherwise. We concluded it would be best and cheapest to pay dearly for our error rather than be retarded on our journey. We had a regular receipt for what we paid, but inadvertently departing again from the appointed way, we were in danger of paying the full duty a second time, or having the goods taken from us. So much for travelling with excise goods.
Early in 1824, John Yeardley returned for a few months to England. He had ingratiated himself so thoroughly into the esteem and love of his Pyrmont friends, that his departure even for a short time was the signal of lamentation through the whole meeting. On the 11th of the First Month he had a farewell meeting at Friedensthal, which was attended by almost all his friends. With his parting blessing he had some counsel to impart.
I have so much place, he says, in their minds, that whatever I say, either in counsel or reproof, is always received in love. Such a scene I never witnessed; the dear lambs all wept aloud; we were indeed all melted together. May the Shepherd of Israel never leave them nor forsake them, and may they become willing to follow his leading. I can truly say that on their behalf my pillow has been often wet with my tears.
On the 3rd of the Second Month, he left Friedensthal, accompanied by a young Friend whom he was to conduct to a temporary residence in England, and in whose religious welfare he was deeply interested. While waiting in Hamburg for a vessel, he felt keenly his solitary situation in the world.
2 mo. 9.--I think I never felt poorer in spirit and more discouraged than at present. It seems as if visiting my native land had no cheering prospect for me. If it were right in the divine sight I could almost wish to spend the whole of my life in solitude; but I must be willing patiently to suffer, and endeavor to fill the place appointed for me on this stage of action.
A vessel sailed for England the day before their arrival at Hamburg, a circumstance which at first made him regret he had not used more expedition on the way. But he immediately recollected it might he for the best that he was left behind. This proved to be the case; for the vessel with which he would have sailed, meeting with contrary winds and dark weather, ran aground, and was obliged to put back, and when J.Y. left the Elbe she was lying in Cuxhaven harbor.
They landed at Hull on the 19th.
CHAPTER V.
FROM HIS RETURN TO ENGLAND IN 1824, TO THE COMMENCEMENT OF HIS FIRST CONTINENTAL JOURNEY IN 1825.
On setting foot again in England, the dejected state of mind which had accompanied him on the journey returned with renewed force.
2 mo. 19.--I do not know how to describe my feelings in landing on my native shore: I feel a poor discouraged creature. May He who knows the sincerity of my heart be pleased to strengthen my poor mind, for I feel almost overwhelmed with fears and difficulties.
Still deeper was his emotion on visiting again the home of former days.
2 mo. 20.---Left Hull, and came by way of Selby and Wakefield to Barnsley. I felt my heart exceedingly burdened before I reached the place: it seemed as if all the bitter cups I had drunk in former times were going to be handed to me afresh. This may not be, perhaps, altogether on my own account. There is at times a fellow-feeling with others; and on my reaching this place, I soon felt my spirit dipped into sympathy with some of my dear connexions, who are not without their trials.
A few days afterwards, in allusion to the religious service of Elizabeth H. Walker of West Chester, U.S., in a public meeting for worship at Barnsley, he says:--
I do not really know what is the matter, but I fear I am going backwards from all that is good. When I look at the usefulness of others, O what an insignificant, useless being I appear!
This lowly opinion of himself, however, was not to serve as an excuse for idleness, and it was proposed to him to bear Elizabeth Walker company in a religious circuit in some of the midland counties, previous to the occurrence of the Yearly Meeting. He accepted the proposal; and they travelled together through part of Staffordshire, Warwick, Worcester, and Oxfordshire, visiting the meetings of Friends, and sometimes inviting the attendance of the public.
The dispirited state of mind which John Yeardley had brought with him from Germany accompanied him on this journey, and on the 30th of the Fourth Month he writes:--
I walked last evening in the fields, in a solitary frame of mind, being very low in spirits on many accounts. My own unfaithfulness deprives me of strength to cast off my burden as I go along; consequently I grow weaker and weaker, which is indeed diametrically opposite to growing stronger and stronger in the Lord. Lamentable case! O for a alteration for the better!
Fifth-day, the 6th of Fifth Month, at Sibford.--This is a pretty large meeting, and there are a good many sweet-looking young folks. The lovely countenances of such are always refreshing to me, and it is not much wonder if I have a little more openness for labor, winch was the case in this place. But in general I sit and bemoan my own uselessness. I have been a burden to myself in this little journey, in fearing I might be so to my friends; but I ought to be very thankful that they do not seem to think me so, but are desirous to encourage me. I think if it was otherwise, it would be more than I could bear.
In the Fifth Month, he attended the Yearly Meeting in London. At the Meeting of Ministers and Elders, an unusual number of certificates were granted for religious service abroad. These various concerns drew from him the following reflections:--
As I sat under the weighty consideration and disposal of these subjects, I felt a degree of rejoicing to spring in my heart, that there are still members who hold the promotion of the cause of righteousness in the earth dear to the best feelings of their hearts. It is indeed cause of heartfelt gratitude that the Divine Master is directing the feet of his messengers not only to the borders of this isle, but also into distant parts of the earth.
During the Yearly Meeting John Yeardley lodged at William Allen's, at Plough-court and Stoke Newington, and was introduced to several Friends with whom he had not before been acquainted.
The acquaintance which I have made with many dear and valued Friends in the neighborhood of London has, I hope, been a little strength to me in the best things. It is truly pleasant to be treated with such genuine kindness; but it is nothing for the soul to build upon,--we must look for a more sure foundation than the favor of the great and good.
Elizabeth H. Walker had a meeting with the younger part of the Society in London and the neighborhood. In noticing this meeting J.Y. has some discriminating remarks on the exercise of the ministry.
During this as well as many other meetings for worship, I sat under religious exercise, but could seldom believe it required of me to take part in the public ministry. I often think, when many exercised brethren and sisters are present; there would be a danger of interrupting the true gospel order, if all were not careful to wait on the Great Minister of the Sanctuary. If we patiently abide under the rightly baptizing power, what we may apprehend preparing in our hearts for utterance may often be delivered by others, and we only have to say, as it were, Amen. We may also be brought into a right willingness to speak in the Lord's name, and still be excused; this may be, perhaps, a preparation of an offering which may be called for at another place. O the importance of knowing the word rightly to be divided, and when and where the offering is required!
A part of Elizabeth Walker's errand in coming to Europe was to visit the Friends in Germany; mid it was proposed that John Yeardley should take charge of her and her companion, Christiana A. Price of Neath, on his return to Pyrmont. They went together through Essex and Suffolk, having meetings on their way; but at Ipswich it appeared that C.A. Price's health was unequal to the journey, and Elizabeth Walker proceeded to Hull to cross the water from thence with another company of Friends who were bound for the Continent. J.Y. was thus left to proceed alone to Pyrmont, and he sailed from Harwich on the 19th of the Sixth Month. When in Suffolk he went to Needham to see "dear ancient Samuel Alexander."
I had, he says, long known this fatherly man by name and person, but had had no acquaintance with him until now: his company and conversation were exceedingly pleasant and instructive to me. In the evening I took a walk in a large plantation which he had himself planted when young, and had now lived to see afford him a comfortable retreat.
John Yeardley was taken ill when in Suffolk, and on settling down again in his quiet home at Friedensthal he writes:
7 mo. 15.--I am drinking salt-spring-water, and my health is mercifully restored. The air of this country seems to suit my constitution better than that of England. Time is very precious. I think, to keep a more correct journal of what I do each day might be very useful, by inducing a more narrow scrutiny how each hour is spent; for I know not how many more may be allowed me to prepare for eternity.
To this resolution he did not adhere. With the exception of two short entries in the same month, he wrote nothing in his diary for the remainder of the year. The difficulties of his position, perhaps a lack of sufficient employment, and the want of that instant watchfulness without which the disciple is ever prone to stray from his Master's side, seem to have again produced, as they did twelve months before, a season of spiritual famine.
His own gloomy condition did not, however, altogether disable him from sympathizing with others. In a letter to his brother of the 4th of the Eleventh Month he says;--
I have of late been in such a low tried state of mind, that I have been discouraged from writing thee, under an apprehension I should say nothing that would afford thee any satisfaction in reading. But though I may not have it in my power to relieve thee, I hope it will not be unpleasant to thee to know that thou art still more dear and near to me than ever thou wast in the times of more apparent outward prosperity. It is a high attainment to know how to set a right value on perishable things, and it requires no small degree of fortitude to bear the depression of apparent temporary adversity, in that disposition of mind which becomes the character of a true Christian. Although, according to our apprehensions, the storm may last long, yet it most assuredly will blow over, and then greater will be our peace than if we had never known a tempest.
On resuming his Diary, which he did in the First Month of 1825, John Yeardley gives an account of the events which happened to him during the previous few months.
In the Seventh Month 1824, Thomas Shillitoe and Elizabeth H. Walker came to Pyrmont, and to the latter J.Y. gave his assistance in various religious engagements. After her departure he again visited Minden, with the neighboring villages of Eidinghausen and Hille. His visit to the last-named place (1 mo. 13, 1825) was marked by a singular circumstance.
Finding a sudden draft [in my mind] to be at the reading meeting in Hille, to begin at two o'clock, there seemed but little time; however, proposing it to my dear friend John Rasche, he was quite willing to accompany me, and driving quickly we came in due time. When the [meeting] was over, the Friends told me they thought it very remarkable that we should come unexpectedly on that day, and that what was communicated after the reading was particularly suited to the state of a woman Friend present, who was laboring under the temptation that she had committed the unpardonable sin, and could find no rest day or night. I could not prevent them from expressing their thankfulness for such a mark of Providential interference, in this way to afford the poor woman a little relief and encouragement.
Four days afterwards, having then returned to Friedensthal, J.Y. adds:--"Since our visit to Hille, the person above-mentioned is dead!"
The depression under which John Yeardley labored, from the loss of that comfortable presence of his Lord which had been almost from his youth as a lamp shining continually upon his head, seems to have reached its lowest point in the early part of this year. Under date of the 24th of the Second Month he says:--
I have this morning once more been enabled to pour out my sorrowful spirit before the Father of mercies in a way that has afforded me some relief and encouragement. In bitterness, and, I may almost say, in agony of soul have I spread before him some of those circumstances which have been a cause of unspeakable distress to me for many months past, and rendered me unfit for almost every service, temporal or spiritual.
Thou knowest, O gracious Father, I long to have my ways and steps regulated by thy holy will. Therefore I beseech thee, have mercy on my faults, and blot out from thy remembrance all my sins, and everything wherein I have in weakness offended thee; and be pleased to give me strength to become more perfectly and lastingly thine. O how sensibly do I feel my own weakness, and that without thee I can do nothing, not for a moment preserve my own steps.
In the midst of his discouragement his mind was directed towards the accomplishment of another part of the commission which had been entrusted to him before he left England.--viz., to sojourn for a time amongst the Friends in the South of France. Accordingly, early in the Third Month he went to Minden, and laid before the Two-months' Meeting, his intention of going to Congenies for this purpose, and also of seeking a religious interview with some serious people in the neighborhood of Cologne.
This information, he says, was received by my friends with much sympathy and, I trust, weightiness of spirit, and I felt a little strengthened by the expression of their feelings and unity with me in this concern. A certificate of their approbation was ordered to be drawn up. No creature on earth knows how this prospect humbles me. I always think I am dealt with in a remarkable manner,--somewhat different perhaps from others. Notwithstanding all the seemingly insurmountable difficulties which stand in the way, and which are far too numerous to particularize, my peace is connected with my obedience. What will be the result I know not; the way appears not yet quite clear us to the time of departure. O Lord, favor me to wait on thee for the spirit of discernment not to step forth in the wrong time.
The obedience which he practised in committing himself in simple faith to this religious prospect prepared the way for a temporal blessing, as well as for the return of inward joy. He little knew, when persecuted by the Accuser of the brethren, and mourning over the weakness of his own corrupt nature, that his Lord was about to provide for him a congenial and helpful companion, in the room of her whose loss had left him solitary in the world. Without this timely sacrifice of his own will, it could not have been so easy for him to make the journey to France in the way in which it was done, and which was the means of bringing about the union which shed so much comfort on the remainder of his life.
Between two and three months after the meeting at Minden, he received the information that Martha Savory, accompanied by Martha Towell, was about to pay a religious visit to the Friends at Pyrmont and Minden. He had been introduced in London to Martha Savory as a minister of the gospel, and one who had been abroad in its service, but his acquaintance with her seems to have been slight.[3] On receiving this intelligence he writes:--
The prospect of seeing a few dear Friends from my native land would be cheering, but I am really so cast down that I seem as if I could not, and almost dare not, rejoice in anything. May this low proving season answer the end for which it is permitted!
As he apprehended the Friends who were coming from England might require a guide, John Yeardley went to meet them at Rotterdam. His journey, and the singular coincidence of Martha Savory's concern with his own, are described in a letter to his brother, written after his return from Holland.
Friedensthal, Pyrmont, 7 mo. 14,1825.
MY DEAR BROTHER,
On my return from Holland I received thy long and very interesting letter. Martha Savory and her companion Martha Towell are now acceptably with us. They expect to spend two or three months with us, and then we have some prospect of going in company to the South of France. As this has fallen out in a rather remarkable manner, it may not be amiss just to explain it to thee. We were entire strangers to each other's concern; but as soon as my friends in London heard of my prospect from the copy of the minutes of our Two-months' Meeting and of my certificate, dear William Allen wrote to me desiring a more particular description of my views, time of departure, &c., and mentioned at the same time M.S.'s concern, which had already passed the Quarterly Meeting, and it was fully expected she would be liberated [by the Meeting of Ministers and Elders] to visit Pyrmont and Minden, and afterwards, if suitable company offered, proceed to some parts of the banks of the Rhine, Switzerland, and Congenies, in the south of France. I wrote to W.A., and explained to him my prospect, which was to visit a few individuals in the neighborhood of Cologne and pass through Switzerland to Congenies. I then received a letter from our dear friend M. Savory, stating that she and W.A. had been much struck with the remarkable coincidence in our views; our prospects being to the same places and in the same way; and that it seemed in the pointing of Truth for us to join in company.
Fifth mo. 26th, I left Friedensthal to visit my friends in Minden and its neighborhood; and after spending about two weeks there, I felt very much inclined to give our friends the meeting at Rotterdam. I set off, accordingly, the 7th of the Sixth Month, and travelled seven days through a desert country to Amsterdam, I went almost one half of the way by water, across the Zuider Zee from Zwolle to Amsterdam. After spending a few days in Amsterdam, I went, with J.S. Mollet, who is the only Friend in that city, to Rotterdam, where we met with M.S. and M.T. Thomas Christy, junior, had accompanied them, from London. M.S. had letters of recommendation to many persons in Amsterdam, whom we visited; and though some of them were first-rate characters in the place, it is surprising with what affection and kindness they received us. J.S. Mollet accompanied us to Pyrmont.