Memoir and Diary of John Yeardley, Minister of the Gospel · Chapter 6Part 6
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29th.--A most awful morning; my dear lamb is no more! She sweetly fell asleep in the bosom of her Saviour, at one o'clock this morning. The closing scene was perfect ease and peace. From the first of her illness she seemed aware how it would terminate, and was perfectly resigned. During our being at Bentham she has often said it was a place provided by Providence to afford her that religious retirement she had long desired, and which she took the most scrupulous care to improve. When in health she would tell me of late that perhaps she might be taken away in order to set me more fully at liberty to do the Lord's work.
11 mo. 18.--This day two weeks was the solemn ceremony of committing to the silent dust the remains of my very precious and dearly beloved Elizabeth. I had dreaded the day very much; but through prayer, mixed with a degree of faith, which was mercifully granted, I was wonderfully supported. In the meeting I felt the divine influence so near, and so to prevail over my spirit, that I was constrained publicly to thank the Father of mercies for his goodness.
This day I visited, perhaps for the last time, the place which encloses the cold relics of one so dearly beloved; and as I stood weeping over the grave, it sprang in my heart, She is not here but (she) is risen. What an unspeakable consolation to be enabled to leave the dust behind, and hold sweet communion and converse with the spirit. Ever since her departure it feels as though her spirit had never left me, but was hovering and fluttering around me to administer comfort on every afflicting occasion; and O, saith my spirit, that this precious feeling may remain with me for ever.
12 mo. 20.--I feel to lament the loss of my dear lamb more than ever, at least so far as I dare. No one but myself knows the comfort which the late awful event has deprived me of; but I no sooner remember the hand which administered it than all complaining is hushed into silence, and I am made to rejoice that she is so safely deposited where trouble cannot reach.
From this moment John Yeardley felt himself quite free to pursue the path of duty which had been opened before him, viz., to go and reside in Germany.
In the Eleventh Month he left Bentham to sojourn awhile with his brother, and on the 9th of the First Month, 1822, he received a certificate of removal from Settle Monthly Meeting, addressed to the Friends of Pyrmont and Minden, which certified that he was a member of the Society of Friends, and a minister well approved by the church.
Before we pursue further the sequence of events, two passages from the diary may be here transcribed, which could not have been inserted in the order of time without interrupting the narrative. The first of these conveys a lesson of practical wisdom, and exhibits the method by which the writer was able to succeed and to excel in what he undertook. It is the true comprehension and resolute acting upon maxims such as these, which makes so much of the difference between one man and another.
1821. 7 mo. 2.--No man can excel in everything; therefore it is highly important for each mind to consider attentively for what it is calculated, and what end it is designed to answer by him who created it. As secular affairs are often more expedited by a judicious arrangement, than by hard doing indiscriminately at the mass; so will undertakings of superior importance be more advantageously attained by keeping a single eye, and looking for best direction to make a proper selection of what ought to be done and what ought not to be done. I was long too much wavering on this head, to my great loss; but I now hope it is become a settled point, find I have clearly seen for what service I am designed in the church militant here on earth; therefore, through the assistance of divine grace, I hope to pursue nothing but in subordination to this main design. For a little mind to aim at great things would be to thwart the whole; but to endeavor to be faithful in small things, seems to be the way to attain the end.
From the other entry we shall extract only a few words, but they are words fraught with deep instruction:--
9 mo. 7.--"Without holiness no man shall see the Lord." Without purity of heart we cannot see the pointing of the Divine Finger.
On the 18th of the Second Month, John Yeardley attended Pontefract Monthly Meeting, held at Wakefield.
It was, he says, a precious season; I felt my friends very near to me in spirit, and expressed to them in tenderness and love what lay on my mind; and in the conclusion the power and goodness of the Most High were so awfully felt that I could not forbear kneeling down to offer him thanks, and to supplicate that he would he pleased once more to bind up the breaches in the walls of our Zion, and grant that when we were separated one from another we might never he separated from his presence.
I now begin, he continues, to feel very anxious to set forward for my destination on the other side of the water. What an awful situation mine appears to be! O that faith and patience may be granted equal to the occasion!
1822. 2 mo. 26.--I never read in my dear lamb's diary but it feels to season my heart with good. It is as though her writings were impregnated with a degree of sincerity and resignation which, were so eminently the characteristics of her innocent spirit. O, I repeat it, that my precious Saviour may be pleased to appoint her angel spirit to be my guardian through life, until I shall be joined with her in heaven and we both unite in singing his praise.
About this time his brother, Thomas Yeardley, began to exercise the ministerial office.
3 mo. 3.--Attended Woodhouse Meeting, which was to me a very trying one. My brother Thomas spoke the feeling of my heart in something like these words:--"They come unto thee as the people cometh, and they sit before thee as my people, and they hear thy words, but they will not do them."
3 mo. 18.--This day was held the Monthly Meeting at Barnsley. The Testimony concerning our much-esteemed friend Joseph Wood was read and signed by the meetings at large. When I consider the legacy, so to speak, which this dear friend used to say he should bequeath to me, this language seems to prevail in my heart:--"Moses my servant is dead; now therefore arise. As I was with Moses, so I will he with thee; I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee."--Joshua i. 2, 5. This is an awful consideration; but why should any despair? May not the faithful mind say, "This God is our God; he will be our guide, even unto death." I desire most sincerely to be kept in humility, whatever the probations may be which are necessary to fit me for the design of Him who hath given me life, breath and being.
On the 2d of the Fourth Month he quitted Barnsley, accompanied by his brother Thomas.
I think it a favor indeed, he says, to be relieved from a doubting mind as to whether I should go or stay; for I can truly say that, let the result prove what it may. I go with an undivided heart.
Elizabeth Dell had a meeting at Pontefract this day, where I met her; it was a very satisfactory meeting, and it was pleasant to meet with several Friends here whom I did not expect to have seen again. The parting opportunity with E.D. has left a savor on my mind which I hope will not soon be forgotten.
Before he left England he opened negotiations with several mercantile houses, who gave him orders for linen yarn from Germany. At Hull he writes:
4 mo. 12.--My detention here, waiting for a fair wind to Hamburg, has not been unpleasant; my friends are exceedingly kind, but my feelings in a religious sense have been rather depressing.
His heart was full of serious thoughts in anticipation of the voyage, which was then more formidable than it is now; but the joyful hope of a glorious immortality, if death should be suffered to overtake him, bore him up above his fears.
14th.--May I be preserved in a holy reliance on the Arm of strong Power for help. "O Lord God, who is a strong Lord like unto Thee, or to thy faithfulness round about Thee? Thou rulest the raging of the sea: when the waves thereof arise, Thou stillest, them." O may it please him to carry me in his bosom, and protect me from the dangers of the sea. But should it please him to permit that I go down to the bottom, may I be fully resigned in humble confidence that I shall again arise to shine brighter with him in everlasting glory. Amen.
We shall conclude this chapter with a few extracts from Elizabeth Yeardley's letters, which well depict her character and experience; and with a copy of the weighty and pertinent testimony regarding Joseph Wood which was issued by Pontefract Monthly Meeting.
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7 mo. 13, 1818.--The broad way seems more and more crowded, while the road to Zion is thinly scattered with poor wayworn travellers; each, or nearly so, of the former living as if there were to be no hereafter, and earth was to be their eternal home. I have thought that as our Blessed Redeemer's arms were extended wide on the cross to embrace perishing sinners, so do these short-sighted mortals extend their arms and their wishes in grasping unsubstantial vanities, and that craving one of Mammon, the most fascinating of all, as it increases with age.
9 mo. 24, 1819.--I hope by what I have felt of the keen arrow of adversity piercing the heart, it will teach me, when I see it wounding any of my fellow-mortals, to endeavor to soothe, if I have nothing else in my power towards healing the wound. Let thee and me be determined, in the name of the holy Jesus, to follow him and not look on others. He is leading us into the pure green, ever green, pasture of humiliation, where the sheep of his pasture love to lie. I own the road is not very pleasant; the descent is rugged, and many times the poor traveller is ashamed of being seen hobbling down by his former acquaintance; but when once within the sacred enclosure, the sweet air that breathes humility hushes all stormy passions to rest. I read and read again of all those holy folks being divested of self, and anxiously do I desire to be so too, but by the marks they lay down I am very far from that attainment. However, He who said, Let there be light, and there was light, can add this to the rest of his inestimable blessings showered on my unworthy head.
4 mo. 14, 1820.--We are sometimes led to expect pity from people where we think we have a sort of claim, and here we often feel disappointed. Persons at ease cannot feel for the sensations of pain in others, any more than prosperity can feel the seasons of adversity. Couldst thou have a look into the houses and bosoms of the inmates of most in B. or other places, thou wouldst find a something sorrowful, a burden the possessor would be glad to be quit of. Let us, then, go forward with hope, and endeavor to be truly thankful for the many mercies showered on our heads, who have not rendered as we ought that gratitude so greatly His due. O look at the bulk of the population in England, whose children are looking up to them for a meal, and they have it not for them; and then let the tear of thankfulness fall. To be thankful is to feel a spark of heavenly flame; to be thankful is to increase the blessing already poured forth. O that I possessed more of this blessed spirit; for truly it is angelic!
A Testimony of Pontefract Monthly Meeting concerning JOSEPH WOOD, deceased.
This our esteemed friend was born at Newhouse, near Highflatts, within the compass of this Monthly Meeting, on the 26th of the Fourth Month, 1750. His parents, Samuel and Susanna Wood, members of our Society, were concerned for the best interest of their children. In his youth he gave way to some of the vanities incident to that period of life, but when approaching manhood he was happily brought under the restraining power of Truth, and often humbled in deep inward exercise. Once being in the fields in the night season, he exclaimed, Lord what shall I do, or whither shall I go? The answer in the secret of his own heart was as intelligible as if spoken to his outward ear,--Whither wilt thou go, Have not I the words of eternal life? Soon after this he attended a neighboring meeting, when a ministering Friend, who was a stranger, stood up with the words which he had received as an answer to his inquiry, and enlarged upon the subject in a manner suited to his tried state of mind.
In the year 1779, in the twenty-ninth year of his age, was his first appearance in the ministry, in great fear and broken-ness of spirit: but being obedient to the manifestations of truth, he experienced an advancement therein, and was a good example, adorning his profession by a circumspect life. His testimony was not with the enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power. Neither was he forward to offer his gift, patiently abiding in the deep till he felt the holy fire burn. He was at times led in a plain close manner to the unfaithful professors of truth, but had the word of consolation to the rightly exercised, unto whom he was indeed a nursing father. He was especially useful to such as the Lord was gathering from the barren mountains of an empty profession to the knowledge of the truth, and he was frequent, in solemn supplication for these, and for the awakening of those who were at ease in Zion. His heart being enlarged in gospel love, he was anxious for the salvation of all, and was frequently engaged to appoint meetings amongst those not in profession with us. For this service he was eminently gifted, and his ministry on these occasions was often attended with the powerful baptizing influence of the Spirit, to the convincement of many. He was concerned to impress on the minds of his friends the necessity of a due attendance of week-day meetings, believing that such as were negligent in this duty never experienced an attainment to the state of strong men in the truth. That our dear friend was zealous for the proper support of discipline in our religious body was sufficiently evident from the part he took in the exercise of it in his own Monthly Meeting; for active service in this important branch of church government he was eminently gifted.
In the course of his religious labors, he visited the meetings of Friends generally in most of the Quarterly Meetings in England, and many meetings within the principality of Wales; and divers of them repeatedly.
During the latter period of his life, feeling his bodily strength decline, he was anxiously desirous that no service required of him should be omitted. His zeal increased with his years, and he became more abundant in labor for the promotion of the Christian cause. In a memorandum made about a year before his death, he writes, "This day I attained the seventieth year of my age. May the remainder of my days be so devoted to the Lord's service, as, when the solemn message of death is sent, I may have nothing to do but to render up my accounts with joy!" In the last Monthly Meeting he attended, he expressed amongst us that he had seen in the vision of life that day, that there were of the youth there present those who, if they were faithful and kept in their innocency, would become instruments of good, and finally would shine as the stars, for ever and ever.
The day before his death, the first day of the week, he appeared in his own meeting at Highflatts, in a powerful testimony, beginning with these words of Moses to Hobab: "We are journeying unto the place of which the Lord said, I will give it you. Come thou with us, and we will do thee good; for the Lord hath spoken good concerning Israel." In the course of his testimony he had in strong terms to urge the necessity of a preparation for an awful eternity. In the afternoon of the same day he complained of a pain in his breast and arms, but was not considered in danger. He retired to bed at his usual hour; but he slept little, and quietly departed about five o'clock the following morning, the 26th of the Third Month, 1821; and was buried at Highflatts the 31st of the same; (many Friends and others attended the meeting on this solemn occasion, which was eminently owned by the presence of the Great Shepherd of Israel;) aged seventy-one years, a minister about forty-two years.
CHAPTER IV.
HIS FIRST RESIDENCE IN GERMANY.
1822-24.
John Yeardley left Hull on the 14th of the Fourth Month, and arrived at Hamburg on the 21st. For the purpose of attending the Exchange, and of becoming acquainted with the language, he hired a lodging in the neighborhood of the city, where he remained for some weeks. Writing to his brother, under date of the 23rd of the Fourth Month, he says,--
In the neighborhood of Hamburg, lodgings are not easily obtained for so short a time as a month. We succeeded in procuring a room three miles from the town, at Eppendorf, in the house of three young women, sisters. It is a charming walk, mostly over the fields. It is quite a cross for me to go on 'Change; but as it is the only place for information, I must submit to it, my visit to this place being for instruction in the language and mode of conducting business: but, from what I have yet seen, it will be quite the best for me to proceed into the interior of the country in a few weeks.
What his reflections were when he found himself actually an inhabitant of the land where for so long a time he had mentally dwelt, will be seen by the following entry in his Diary. The maxim with which it concludes may be said to be the motto which he inscribed on his shield for the remainder of his life.
This morning I am thankful to feel something of a peaceful serenity to cover my mind, and am well contented in being placed on this side of the German Ocean. I consider it an unspeakable blessing that I do not feel so much as a wish to return, until the time may come that I can see clearly that it is right for me so to do. Should I not be favored with health and strength to do what I have sometimes thought designed for me before I set my foot in this land, or should my Heavenly Father see meet to cut short the work in righteousness and not permit that I ever see my native country again, his gracious will be done. I leave this as a testimony that none need to fear his rightly sending forth those who ask and rightly wait for his counsel. I do not know why I should thus write: I trust it proceeds from a resigned heart; and I will add, for fear I should never have another opportunity, that I should wish all to know who have known me, that I have no reason to doubt the rectitude of my crossing the water with a prospect of a residence in this country, and that should time with me now close, I die in peace with my God, and in that love for mankind which believes "every nation to be our nation, and every man our brother."--(6 mo. 8.)
The next day's diary consists of a short but earnest prayer.
First-day morning,--O, gracious and most merciful Father, be pleased to strengthen my hands for the work that is before me; be pleased to give me the power of speech; be pleased to give me thy word, with power to publish it to those whose hearts thou shalt be pleased to prepare for the reception of it.
The family with whom he lodged at Eppendorf strongly engaged his religious sympathy.
I spent, he says in his diary of the 8th of the Seventh Month, about nine weeks at E. in a very agreeable manner with the family of three young women. The one who is the mistress of the house is very seriously inclined. She told me she had read a play-book giving a description of our Society in the character of one of its members, and ever since she had had a particular desire to see one of us, and that she could not but admire with thankfulness that she had been gratified in having one to reside under her roof. She had heard of Thomas Shillitoe's being in Hamburg; and when I told her he was now in Norway, she asked me his business there, I told her that our Friends had sometimes a desire to visit their brethren and other religiously-disposed people in foreign lands, and that such was his errand. She replied, "Yes, and I believe it is also yours: this is Gospel love indeed; while so many here will not think for themselves, you come so far to visit and help them." In saying this she was overcome with tears.
John Yeardley left Hamburg on the 2nd of the Seventh Month, and arrived at Pyrmont on the 5th. Writing to his brother, he says:
I have now had a specimen of German travelling. Thou wilt be sure I was very bold to set off quite alone except the driver, but it proved far easier than I had anticipated. Instead of having a conveyance to seek when I got over to Harburg, there was a man on the steam-packet who offered to take me in his carriage, and the whole of my packages, to Pyrmont.
A great part of the country between Harburg and Hanover is very dreary and barren, much resembling Bentham Moor; but the road is much worse, being in many places not less than eighteen inches or two feet deep in sand. When we came near Celle and Hanover, the country became quite different, being very fruitful, and the prospect charming. Nearly all the way from Hanover to Pyrmont it is beautiful travelling, and the road mostly good. Pyrmont and the scenery in the surrounding neighborhood is beautiful beyond description.
At Eppendorf he had been cheered by a visit from Benjamin Seebohm and John Snowdon, from Bradford, who informed him that a committee from the Yearly Meeting were on their way to Pyrmont. This was to him most welcome news, and the Friends reached Pyrmont almost as soon as he did; but though their company was so cordial to his mind, their presence did not relieve him from the burden of religious exercise which he began to feel on behalf of the members of the Society in that place, as soon as he took up his residence amongst them.
Diary.--7 mo. 16.--The Committee from the Yearly Meeting--viz., Josiah Forster, Joseph Marriage, and Peter Bedford--have visited the families of Friends here, and attended the Preparative Meeting which was held on First-day last. Things here appear to be very low every way among those who profess with us; yet there are a few sincere-hearted to whom I already begin to feel closely united in spirit.
From the time of my arrival until First-day last, I do not remember ever to have been more oppressed in mind. I could, if I dared, almost have wished myself in England again, for I feared I should not be able to obtain any relief. I went to meeting on First-day in fear and trembling; but, as is sometimes the case, it proved better than I had expected. When we are stripped of all help but what comes from the Lord alone, it is then that he delights most to help us. Through the acceptable assistance of my friend B. Seebohm, I was enabled to communicate what came before me, and the great dread which I had always had of speaking through an interpreter was mercifully removed, for which I was truly thankful. The three Friends were favored most instructively to labor in the meeting for business. They are now gone to Minden; I feel tenderly united to their spirits in much love.
John Yeardley's residence was at Friedensthal, a hamlet about a mile from the town of Pyrmont. In a letter to his brother he thus describes the situation of the place, and his own comfortable accommodation:--
My mother inquires as to my mode of living, and if I have comfortable accommodations. Please to tell her that I am provided for in a way which is exceedingly agreeable to me. I have a large airy sitting-room with three windows, and a bed-room adjoining, situated, on one side, under the shelter of a wood, and the other opens to a beautiful and romantic dale. The mode of cooking is just as I would wish it; I am only anxious sometimes that my very kind friends of the house are too much concerned for my help and comfort. It seems scarcely possible to find an outward situation more suited to my wishes. When I have studied in the house, I take my books in suitable weather into the wood, and there walk and read and think. It is true I am sometimes very flat for want of company; but if I incline to go to Pyrmont, they are always pleased to see me, and would willingly have me always with them.--(2 mo. 17, 1823.)
Very soon after his arrival at Pyrmont, John Yeardley entered into active service in behalf of the gospel. In what religious state he found the people towards whom he had so long been attracted in spirit, and how he was enabled to preach to them the word of life, is exhibited in several entries in his Diary.
7 mo. 21.--The Two-months' Meeting was held at Minden; I went, along with several of my friends from here. The first sitting was very large, many coming in who do not usually attend. It was a very solid meeting; I thought there was the good savor of an honest-hearted few to be felt among a mixed multitude. Such was the sweet, peaceful satisfaction I felt after this meeting, that I almost said in my heart, This is enough to repay me for setting my feet in Germany. These are precious seasons, yet I always recur to such in fear, and rejoice with trembling; for in the midst of the Lord's goodness to his children one seems to be falling on one hand, and another on another; so that the language seems to be, "Will ye also go away?" and truly we shall never be able to stand if we look not for help to Him who has the words of eternal life.
About this time Thomas Shillitoe arrived in Germany, in the course of his religious visit on the Continent; and John Yeardley, on his return to Pyrmont, united with him in a visit to the families of Friends belonging to that meeting.
8 mo. 13.--My feelings are this morning deeply discouraged. I am entering on a visit to the families here with my dear friend T.S., whose company I have had since the 23rd ult. This service is to me a very important one. It is an easy matter to say to a brother or a sister, Be comforted, be strengthened; but it is no light matter to dip so feelingly into the state of our fellow-mortals, as to feel as though we could place our soul in their soul's stead, in order that they might be strengthened and comforted.
8 mo. 20.--The visit has been got over to our great satisfaction. In some sittings, deep exercise and mourning; in others, cause of rejoicing over the precious seed of the kingdom, which is alive in the hearts of some. There seems to be a remarkable visitation once more extended, especially to the youth.
In conjunction with Thomas Shillitoe he proposed to the Friends, as only one meeting was held on First-days, to have one in the evening for religious reading, holding it at Friedensthal in the summer, and at Pyrmont in the winter. The proposal was immediately complied with, and the institution proved a valuable auxiliary to the edification of the members.
8 mo. 25.--The reading meeting this evening has been a precious season; O, how all spirits were melted together! May the blessing of the Lord rest upon this humble endeavor as a means of bringing us nearer to himself.